It's approaching the end of the year, nearly every radio station manager has forced their top DJs to compile their lists of 2011's top songs, the news stations have compiled and aired their best and worst moments of the year and everyone is trying to come up with their new year's resolutions. And I find myself looking at the new year as possibly being the last year in human existence.
I don't really believe in the supernatural, I don't believe that there are outside entities watching or controlling our lives. I don't believe that there is anything that has shaped our existence except for the ever powerful forces of nature. However, I still find myself looking at the Mayan Long Count calendar and how people have assigned the end of our world to the end of this calendar designed by a civilization hundreds of years virtually extinct.
The Mayan calendar appears to end on our standard calendar on December 21, 2012. Movies, books and word of mouth have turned this date into a fearsome time. I put as much stock in this theory as I do in the idea that four horsemen are going to find four corners on a sphere and wreak havoc on the entire population through magic. The Mayans were very in tune with the cosmos and were able to figure out some complicated principles with rudimentary knowledge and tools and decided to make their own life easier by forecasting the future stages of the moon and sun and stars. Why did they end it when they did? I generally think that their scholars felt that they went far enough into the future that they didn't need to continue. It was far enough in advance for them that if they were wrong, they would be long dead. It was far enough in advance that the people around them didn't have to worry but it gave a sense of impending doom which is always useful in controlling the masses.
In the 1950's before computers and such, if the American government decided to make a calendar, they would've planned it far enough in advance that they could plan their future goals and know with precision when they planned on finishing their projects. Whatever random day they decided to stop counting, would we consider it the end of the world? Probably not, the American government, although sneaky and conniving is far from mysterious, unlike the Mayans.
So, as we look at the upcoming 2012, I look at December 22 as the day that comes after the 21st. But there is still a little sense of mystery in it. It will be interesting to see the hype that gets built up over the next 350 days and how the world deals with it.
Those of you in the States, if you are really concerned when you wake up on the 21st, just look on facebook or on here and I'll confirm to you that it passed without any problems since it will already be the 22nd for me.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Thursday, December 29, 2011
44 years
Tomorrow is my parents' anniversary. They have been together 10 years longer than I've been alive and that is amazing to me.
The sum of my world although influenced and impacted from events throughout history is only 34 years. It is virtually impossible for me to fully understand the commitment it must take to accomplish anything at all over a 44 year span. I can fathom it, I can grasp the idea of it, but not having done anything except managing to keep breathing for only 34 years, I cannot completely understand it.
My parents were young when they got married. Mum, I'm sorry, but I'm informing the whole known world (well, the 20 people who actually read this) of your age. My mum was only 20 years 6 months old when she said I do. My dad, 3 years her senior was graduated from university and a fresh made officer in the US army. He was being whisked off to Korea to serve here instead of in Vietnam and my mum wanted to join him, so they married.
What started as a fairly rushed relationship was cemented into a tight bond as they both struggled to survive in a post-civil war Korea. This country, well-developed now, was deep in the grips of poverty. No one knew English but they appreciated the US presence. And my parents had no idea what Korea was like before landing. This culture shock pushed them together to rely on each other and keep each other happy. It helped them discover who they really were and it is because of this that they were able to weather the coming storms.
My dad is a good, solid man. He is upright in his morals, deeply spiritual even if he doesn't strictly conform to standard religion, and honest. However, he is not perfect.
My mum is a beautiful, caring woman. She is deeply empathetic, understanding, patient and also deeply spiritual. Her honesty matches my fathers. However, she also is not perfect.
Growing up in the midwest in a lower class family, my father learned that men work hard for their families. They provide food and shelter for them. Men are the steadfast leaders of the family and they do not show their emotions because it is their place to be the strong ones. Men never hit women, never cheat on their wives, do not allow themselves to succumb to the base vices of alcohol or drugs. He also learned that women are supposed to nurture and care for the family, to cook the food that the men provide, to keep the children healthy and educated. And to listen to her husband for direction.
My mother grew up in a very strict family. She learned that women are supposed to be proper at all times. Appearances are essential and that one may have a problem, but she must never show it. She learned that she must always look up to other people because she will never be able to achieve greatness in herself.
My father's informal education led him to be the man he is today. It allowed him no other options than being a devout husband and father. He never strayed from his family and he never mislead. My mother's homeschooling led her to be a very sensitive and attentive of others. She never once made me feel unloved or even that her love for me ever wavered, even when I hurt her.
However, my dad's upbringing led him to more chauvinistic behavior and my mothers insecurities kept her from understanding her greatness. When I was young, they needed some time apart to help re-focus their love and to work on the issues that were wedging them apart. My dad took my two older brothers and moved to his own place about 10 minutes away. My sister and I stayed with my mother because we were too young and my mother needed us with her. It only took about 3 months for my parents to realize the love they still had for each other and that the issues they had with themselves could be worked out. My father stopped taking my mother for granted and began helping more around the house while my mother started understanding that she lived in no one's shadow.
After my father moved back in, their life together began anew. The father that I grew up with was not the man I described above. He was the man I know now and whom I hope to become. My mother is no longer the insecure child but now acknowledges her importance. The relationship that they have now is one of mutual understanding, respect, and love. I don't often get to see them together, but when I do, the love they have for each other emanates from them in waves that make their house a haven for me. They help each other in all things. My mum still cooks dinner for my dad and has it ready for him when he gets home, but that's because he's been at work and she's been at home. If my mum is busy, my dad doesn't mind making his own dinner and when he doesn't work, he has been known to whip up a batch of his famous spaghetti.
My parents have figured out how to make their relationship work, and not just work but bloom. What started out as a seed hastily planted has taken root and with a few twists has grown into a beautiful shade tree that provides all of us with it's beauty. Their roots are deep and firmly rooted while the kinks of their past have made the outline of their tree a more pleasant sight.
Because my parents have had trouble, worked through it, and grown together more solidly they have shown me and others how to make things work even when it is hard. My parents have been together for 44 years. It couldn't be easy all the time but the hard work has definitely paid off and now they love each other with the fierceness that comes from spending nearly all of their lives together, experiencing the same things and relying and supporting each other through thick and thin.
I do not believe that every marriage should last forever. Having entered into a nuptial contract before, I know that people sometimes make mistakes and really, really stupid decisions. However, some people were meant to be together and my parents are definitely in that category. Mum and Dad, thank you for working through everything. Dad, thank you for showing me what it is to be a good husband. Mum, thank you for showing me what Maya Angelou always tried to write. How a woman can still be nurturing and caring and take care of the family, but still possess her own spirit and power. To the two of you, I am appreciative of providing stability and direction in a world that doesn't always make that easy.
I love you guys, and Happy Anniversary.
The sum of my world although influenced and impacted from events throughout history is only 34 years. It is virtually impossible for me to fully understand the commitment it must take to accomplish anything at all over a 44 year span. I can fathom it, I can grasp the idea of it, but not having done anything except managing to keep breathing for only 34 years, I cannot completely understand it.
My parents were young when they got married. Mum, I'm sorry, but I'm informing the whole known world (well, the 20 people who actually read this) of your age. My mum was only 20 years 6 months old when she said I do. My dad, 3 years her senior was graduated from university and a fresh made officer in the US army. He was being whisked off to Korea to serve here instead of in Vietnam and my mum wanted to join him, so they married.
What started as a fairly rushed relationship was cemented into a tight bond as they both struggled to survive in a post-civil war Korea. This country, well-developed now, was deep in the grips of poverty. No one knew English but they appreciated the US presence. And my parents had no idea what Korea was like before landing. This culture shock pushed them together to rely on each other and keep each other happy. It helped them discover who they really were and it is because of this that they were able to weather the coming storms.
My dad is a good, solid man. He is upright in his morals, deeply spiritual even if he doesn't strictly conform to standard religion, and honest. However, he is not perfect.
My mum is a beautiful, caring woman. She is deeply empathetic, understanding, patient and also deeply spiritual. Her honesty matches my fathers. However, she also is not perfect.
Growing up in the midwest in a lower class family, my father learned that men work hard for their families. They provide food and shelter for them. Men are the steadfast leaders of the family and they do not show their emotions because it is their place to be the strong ones. Men never hit women, never cheat on their wives, do not allow themselves to succumb to the base vices of alcohol or drugs. He also learned that women are supposed to nurture and care for the family, to cook the food that the men provide, to keep the children healthy and educated. And to listen to her husband for direction.
My mother grew up in a very strict family. She learned that women are supposed to be proper at all times. Appearances are essential and that one may have a problem, but she must never show it. She learned that she must always look up to other people because she will never be able to achieve greatness in herself.
My father's informal education led him to be the man he is today. It allowed him no other options than being a devout husband and father. He never strayed from his family and he never mislead. My mother's homeschooling led her to be a very sensitive and attentive of others. She never once made me feel unloved or even that her love for me ever wavered, even when I hurt her.
However, my dad's upbringing led him to more chauvinistic behavior and my mothers insecurities kept her from understanding her greatness. When I was young, they needed some time apart to help re-focus their love and to work on the issues that were wedging them apart. My dad took my two older brothers and moved to his own place about 10 minutes away. My sister and I stayed with my mother because we were too young and my mother needed us with her. It only took about 3 months for my parents to realize the love they still had for each other and that the issues they had with themselves could be worked out. My father stopped taking my mother for granted and began helping more around the house while my mother started understanding that she lived in no one's shadow.
After my father moved back in, their life together began anew. The father that I grew up with was not the man I described above. He was the man I know now and whom I hope to become. My mother is no longer the insecure child but now acknowledges her importance. The relationship that they have now is one of mutual understanding, respect, and love. I don't often get to see them together, but when I do, the love they have for each other emanates from them in waves that make their house a haven for me. They help each other in all things. My mum still cooks dinner for my dad and has it ready for him when he gets home, but that's because he's been at work and she's been at home. If my mum is busy, my dad doesn't mind making his own dinner and when he doesn't work, he has been known to whip up a batch of his famous spaghetti.
My parents have figured out how to make their relationship work, and not just work but bloom. What started out as a seed hastily planted has taken root and with a few twists has grown into a beautiful shade tree that provides all of us with it's beauty. Their roots are deep and firmly rooted while the kinks of their past have made the outline of their tree a more pleasant sight.
Because my parents have had trouble, worked through it, and grown together more solidly they have shown me and others how to make things work even when it is hard. My parents have been together for 44 years. It couldn't be easy all the time but the hard work has definitely paid off and now they love each other with the fierceness that comes from spending nearly all of their lives together, experiencing the same things and relying and supporting each other through thick and thin.
I do not believe that every marriage should last forever. Having entered into a nuptial contract before, I know that people sometimes make mistakes and really, really stupid decisions. However, some people were meant to be together and my parents are definitely in that category. Mum and Dad, thank you for working through everything. Dad, thank you for showing me what it is to be a good husband. Mum, thank you for showing me what Maya Angelou always tried to write. How a woman can still be nurturing and caring and take care of the family, but still possess her own spirit and power. To the two of you, I am appreciative of providing stability and direction in a world that doesn't always make that easy.
I love you guys, and Happy Anniversary.
Monday, December 19, 2011
Thoughts on Death
One week after I found out that I was to have a son named Cameron and one week after my brother-in-law graduated with his Ph.D, I got a text message from my mother. "Just got a phone call from Robert [my aunt's estranged husband]. Cameron was killed last night in a car accident." This came at 1:13am. My wife was in Seoul because of a concert and was visiting at her friend's house. I was at a club with a few of my friends here. What kind of text can you send back to that. My mother's only sibling's only son was dead. While I was reading that, I had some random Korean guys trying to be my friend, talking in my ear, trying to get me to buy him a beer. . . yeah, I know it seems like he was hitting on me, but he wasn't. . . it's a cultural thing. I didn't know how to respond. All I could write back was "oh my god." I got a text immediately after asking if I was awake, and when I replied in the affirmative, I got a phone call. Excusing myself from the bar, I stepped out into the entryway and talked with my mum. The details were still unclear but I did find out that my aunt was on a cruise in Aruba with her ex-husband (my cousin's father) and his new wife while she was trying to renew herself after some recent personal turmoil. Nobody could get her on the phone. She still didn't know. A week before Christmas, on the day of my cousin's wife's birthday, her only son drove in front of a logging truck with no seatbelt on and she had no idea. His widow is now a lone provider for 2 children ages 9 and 3. My heart is breaking for his family and the absolute crushing blow that my aunt felt when she first heard the news. The feelings that she must be dealing with as she boards the plane and flies all the way back to Vancouver, B.C. must be completely overwhelming. He was born much earlier than me so age and distance never allowed us to be tight, but he was still my cousin and I loved him. The last time I saw him was at my wedding. I had two cousins make it to my wedding. 2 out of 5 and he was one of them.
Shortly after that, I found out that the peace-loving leader of the Velvet Revolution, Vaclav Havel passed away. This man was able to see a different method of dealing with anger. He saw through ire and instead of instigating riots and aggressive protests managed to liberate Czechoslovakia from the Soviet Union. It was a peaceful rally held for a month that won the Czech's their freedom. Vaclav Havel was a tremendous politician that really knew his people and their desires. The world lost a positive influential leader.
And today at lunch, North Korea released the news that their dictator and "dear-leader" died on a train from a heart attack. My first thought was "what is the North's next move? Are they going to put on an aggressive face and strike out so that Kim Jeong-un can prove his worth to the politicians who guided his father?" By the time I got back to my desk, many of my friends had already posted the news and some had posted articles and ideas of what was next. I don't think S. Korea will ever have to deal with a nuclear attack from N. Korea, however, there is always the possibility of another skirmish. I'm not worried about it because N. Korea is so heavily monitored that at the first sign of a build up of troops, we'll know. But the death of this enigma that ruled an entire country into poverty and starvation will definitely affect more than just the peninsula. The world lost a very negative influential leader. But did it just gain a new one in his son? We'll see.
I know that death is a part of life. I know that death will come for each and every one of us. I know there were things that could have been done to prevent my cousin's untimely demise. Too many times I've heard condolences and reasonings, but I just keep thinking about my aunt and how strong she is but I also wonder how strong does someone have to be to withstand the loss of her only son. I mourn for my cousin and I mourn for my aunt. I mourn for my cousin's wife and I mourn for her children. This Christmas, recognize your family and friends. Recognize the love that you share. Recognize how blessed each of us are to have the people we do, in our lives. I've always thought that loving everyone as much as we can is a much better way to live than by being annoyed, judgmental or critical. I don't always live up to that thought, but I try and I hope that you all do, too.
I love you,
Jamie
Shortly after that, I found out that the peace-loving leader of the Velvet Revolution, Vaclav Havel passed away. This man was able to see a different method of dealing with anger. He saw through ire and instead of instigating riots and aggressive protests managed to liberate Czechoslovakia from the Soviet Union. It was a peaceful rally held for a month that won the Czech's their freedom. Vaclav Havel was a tremendous politician that really knew his people and their desires. The world lost a positive influential leader.
And today at lunch, North Korea released the news that their dictator and "dear-leader" died on a train from a heart attack. My first thought was "what is the North's next move? Are they going to put on an aggressive face and strike out so that Kim Jeong-un can prove his worth to the politicians who guided his father?" By the time I got back to my desk, many of my friends had already posted the news and some had posted articles and ideas of what was next. I don't think S. Korea will ever have to deal with a nuclear attack from N. Korea, however, there is always the possibility of another skirmish. I'm not worried about it because N. Korea is so heavily monitored that at the first sign of a build up of troops, we'll know. But the death of this enigma that ruled an entire country into poverty and starvation will definitely affect more than just the peninsula. The world lost a very negative influential leader. But did it just gain a new one in his son? We'll see.
I know that death is a part of life. I know that death will come for each and every one of us. I know there were things that could have been done to prevent my cousin's untimely demise. Too many times I've heard condolences and reasonings, but I just keep thinking about my aunt and how strong she is but I also wonder how strong does someone have to be to withstand the loss of her only son. I mourn for my cousin and I mourn for my aunt. I mourn for my cousin's wife and I mourn for her children. This Christmas, recognize your family and friends. Recognize the love that you share. Recognize how blessed each of us are to have the people we do, in our lives. I've always thought that loving everyone as much as we can is a much better way to live than by being annoyed, judgmental or critical. I don't always live up to that thought, but I try and I hope that you all do, too.
I love you,
Jamie
Friday, December 16, 2011
I need some help
If anyone is artistic in the slightest way, I want to take the poem I wrote in To my son. . . and turn it into something beautiful that I can give my son for him to have forever. Is anyone able to help me out? I am open to any form of art, be it beautifully handwritten or caligraphy. Some sort of digital media or a painting. Anything at all would be nice and greatly appreciated.
Furthermore, You can now see ads on the side and bottom of my blog. If you would just take a glance over there and if you see anything you like, please just click on the ad. . . my baby needs a new . ..er first pair of shoes! Go ahead, I'll wait. . .
are you back? great. Now, if you don't mind, have another look. They change every time you check this page so take a gander over there and down below every time you wander in here. Go ahead, you're done reading this entry, so it won't hurt to take a peek at the services provided to the side.
Furthermore, You can now see ads on the side and bottom of my blog. If you would just take a glance over there and if you see anything you like, please just click on the ad. . . my baby needs a new . ..er first pair of shoes! Go ahead, I'll wait. . .
are you back? great. Now, if you don't mind, have another look. They change every time you check this page so take a gander over there and down below every time you wander in here. Go ahead, you're done reading this entry, so it won't hurt to take a peek at the services provided to the side.
To my son on your name day
I give you the name of my mother. Devotion, Love and Honesty.
These come from her, through me, into you.
You walk with Cameron as your first name.
When you first meet someone, you will say, "My name is Cameron."
What they will hear is, "My name is Devotion, Love, and Honesty."
Your mother gives you the name of her mind. Triumph, Victory.
From her, into you.
You walk with Seung Lee as your middle name, hidden but ever-present.
As you go through life, overcome all of your obstacles. Triumph over hardships.
Determine your goals and find victory in everything.
From my blood you own our family name. Dedication, Morality and Integrity.
These come from my father, through me and into you.
You walk with Hougham following you wherever you go.
Wherever you tread always leave behind the evidence of your dedication.
When you walk past others, let them turn and watch you, staring at a moral man.
Let others look up to you and see that your integrity cannot falter.
You are Cameron Seung Lee Hougham. Heart, Mind and Soul.
From your past into your future.
Walk with a strong heart and others will follow.
Lead with a clear mind and you will not fail.
Act with a clean soul and others will see and believe.
You are Cameron 승리 Hougham
These come from her, through me, into you.
You walk with Cameron as your first name.
When you first meet someone, you will say, "My name is Cameron."
What they will hear is, "My name is Devotion, Love, and Honesty."
Your mother gives you the name of her mind. Triumph, Victory.
From her, into you.
You walk with Seung Lee as your middle name, hidden but ever-present.
As you go through life, overcome all of your obstacles. Triumph over hardships.
Determine your goals and find victory in everything.
From my blood you own our family name. Dedication, Morality and Integrity.
These come from my father, through me and into you.
You walk with Hougham following you wherever you go.
Wherever you tread always leave behind the evidence of your dedication.
When you walk past others, let them turn and watch you, staring at a moral man.
Let others look up to you and see that your integrity cannot falter.
You are Cameron Seung Lee Hougham. Heart, Mind and Soul.
From your past into your future.
Walk with a strong heart and others will follow.
Lead with a clear mind and you will not fail.
Act with a clean soul and others will see and believe.
You are Cameron 승리 Hougham
Monday, December 12, 2011
Just another Saturday?
Every once in a while a span of 24 hours comes along that you want to hold onto. You want to keep it as fresh in your memory as the lettuce in your crisper drawer. Pictures work well, but they aren't the same thing as the actual 24 hours and when your camera battery dies, as well as your spare. . .well, memory needs to serve. Unfortunately, my memory works about as well as my old tonka trucks, sure it works, but it is rusty and parts fall off all the time. Therefore, I want to write it all down here so when I'm 80 years old, sitting in my hover rocker, I can download it straight into my brain and retell it to my grandkids for the 50th time.
I've already written about waking up on Saturday morning, and even though that was the biggest event, there was so much more.
Saturday, after I found out that I was going to have a son, I walked out of the doctor's room and realized that I really had to go to the bathroom. Yoon mi had to do a blood test so I was alone. My mind was reeling. I was trying to process what I had just heard, trying to figure out the best way to tell my parents and sister, and trying to find the bathroom. Luckily, I knew it was down the only hallway in the office. So, I walked in, found the toilet and just as I started, I realized that there were no urinals in this bathroom. I was in the woman's bathroom. Well, I had already started and this is Korea where it is common to find a urinal right by the door to the woman's stall so instead of pinching it off, I decided the best course of action would be to finish what I came in to do and quietly, yet confidently leave the bathroom. Luckily, when I was done, there was no one in the bathroom and no one in the hall; phew, crisis averted.
I called my family, but I was still in the doctor's office so I had to speak quietly and I couldn't get as excited as I wanted to be. Having to use the elevator to get down to the basement car garage, I had to get off the phone early, too. After leaving the doctor, we went to the local chain mega-store, similar to America's Wal-shop, ours drops the Wal and replaces it with an E. Anyway, while we were there, Yoon mi was diligently finding all the sample places and "seeing if we wanted to buy it." We didn't. Yoon mi was famished having been super busy at work and not having time to eat lunch. There were several things we needed to buy while we were there, but with both of us thinking about other things, we forgot about 90% of what we were supposed to buy and ended up buying a bunch of stuff we didn't need.
We went to a coffee/tea shop where we diligently changed our facebook status' and sent out some text messages with our news. Later, Yoon mi was tired so she went home and I set out for another ex-pat's birthday dinner. Gary is turning 38 or 47 I can't tell. He sorta looks like Vezzini from The Princess Bride. Anyway, he had his birthday party at a Korean beef restaurant where we all had to sit on the floor and cook our own meat. Now, don't get me wrong, I love cooking my own tender, juicy bits of beautifully marbled steak, I just absolutely hate doing it while sitting on the floor. This was the first time I've had red meat in . . . a long time. So, it was fantastic! After dinner, we decided to hit up the only bar in town that has a decent beer on tap. Now, with me trying to lose weight, I know very well that steak and beer are 2 things I should definitely not be consuming, but it was his birthday, what could I do? I had a beer. While at the bar, I was reminded that two other ex-pats, married, just finished their first semester of Master's and Bachelor's studies. So, we had a celebration that night of Gary's birthday, Amanda kicking ass in her Master's studies, and Bob with his Bachelor's work. But at least for me, the biggest celebration for my son.
By the time I left the bar, the Earth had just begun to cross between the sun and the moon, like a hiker between the mother and cub. However, instead of getting mauled, the hiker cast it's shadow on the cub slowly turning it a dark, burnt orange color. Eventually, as the moon became fully eclipsed, it darkened; an orb of blood dried for a week, lying on a black velvet sheet. I drove home and ran inside to get Yoon mi to come out and look up with me. It was freezing cold with a slight wind kissing my right ear, but I couldn't go inside. I had to watch this amazing eclipse unfolding in front of me. I went back in and grabbed my camera, ran out to the car to grab my tripod (yeah, I don't know why I keep them in two different places either) and set it all up. Just as I snapped off a couple pics, the battery died. Running back into the house to get my spare battery, the moon moved just a bit more so that it was nearly completely dark. When I got back out, I changed the battery and lifted it up for another shot. My spare battery was dead too. NO~~! So, I just sat there with a tripod and a camera with two dead batteries, staring at the moon. I know that many ancient civilizations have considered lunar eclipses bad omens, but I think that finding out my baby, who is going to be born in the year of the black dragon, is a son on the same day as a very rare total lunar eclipse is freaking awesome and worthy of remembering and re-telling when I'm old.
I've already written about waking up on Saturday morning, and even though that was the biggest event, there was so much more.
Saturday, after I found out that I was going to have a son, I walked out of the doctor's room and realized that I really had to go to the bathroom. Yoon mi had to do a blood test so I was alone. My mind was reeling. I was trying to process what I had just heard, trying to figure out the best way to tell my parents and sister, and trying to find the bathroom. Luckily, I knew it was down the only hallway in the office. So, I walked in, found the toilet and just as I started, I realized that there were no urinals in this bathroom. I was in the woman's bathroom. Well, I had already started and this is Korea where it is common to find a urinal right by the door to the woman's stall so instead of pinching it off, I decided the best course of action would be to finish what I came in to do and quietly, yet confidently leave the bathroom. Luckily, when I was done, there was no one in the bathroom and no one in the hall; phew, crisis averted.
I called my family, but I was still in the doctor's office so I had to speak quietly and I couldn't get as excited as I wanted to be. Having to use the elevator to get down to the basement car garage, I had to get off the phone early, too. After leaving the doctor, we went to the local chain mega-store, similar to America's Wal-shop, ours drops the Wal and replaces it with an E. Anyway, while we were there, Yoon mi was diligently finding all the sample places and "seeing if we wanted to buy it." We didn't. Yoon mi was famished having been super busy at work and not having time to eat lunch. There were several things we needed to buy while we were there, but with both of us thinking about other things, we forgot about 90% of what we were supposed to buy and ended up buying a bunch of stuff we didn't need.
We went to a coffee/tea shop where we diligently changed our facebook status' and sent out some text messages with our news. Later, Yoon mi was tired so she went home and I set out for another ex-pat's birthday dinner. Gary is turning 38 or 47 I can't tell. He sorta looks like Vezzini from The Princess Bride. Anyway, he had his birthday party at a Korean beef restaurant where we all had to sit on the floor and cook our own meat. Now, don't get me wrong, I love cooking my own tender, juicy bits of beautifully marbled steak, I just absolutely hate doing it while sitting on the floor. This was the first time I've had red meat in . . . a long time. So, it was fantastic! After dinner, we decided to hit up the only bar in town that has a decent beer on tap. Now, with me trying to lose weight, I know very well that steak and beer are 2 things I should definitely not be consuming, but it was his birthday, what could I do? I had a beer. While at the bar, I was reminded that two other ex-pats, married, just finished their first semester of Master's and Bachelor's studies. So, we had a celebration that night of Gary's birthday, Amanda kicking ass in her Master's studies, and Bob with his Bachelor's work. But at least for me, the biggest celebration for my son.
By the time I left the bar, the Earth had just begun to cross between the sun and the moon, like a hiker between the mother and cub. However, instead of getting mauled, the hiker cast it's shadow on the cub slowly turning it a dark, burnt orange color. Eventually, as the moon became fully eclipsed, it darkened; an orb of blood dried for a week, lying on a black velvet sheet. I drove home and ran inside to get Yoon mi to come out and look up with me. It was freezing cold with a slight wind kissing my right ear, but I couldn't go inside. I had to watch this amazing eclipse unfolding in front of me. I went back in and grabbed my camera, ran out to the car to grab my tripod (yeah, I don't know why I keep them in two different places either) and set it all up. Just as I snapped off a couple pics, the battery died. Running back into the house to get my spare battery, the moon moved just a bit more so that it was nearly completely dark. When I got back out, I changed the battery and lifted it up for another shot. My spare battery was dead too. NO~~! So, I just sat there with a tripod and a camera with two dead batteries, staring at the moon. I know that many ancient civilizations have considered lunar eclipses bad omens, but I think that finding out my baby, who is going to be born in the year of the black dragon, is a son on the same day as a very rare total lunar eclipse is freaking awesome and worthy of remembering and re-telling when I'm old.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Waking up
This morning, I woke up. I don't mean I ended my nightly sleep routine. I mean I woke up.
After my alarm went off, I hurried and got dressed so I could take Yoon Mi to work. She works on Saturdays from 9am to 2pm. After I took her, I went to the sauna for a good shower and soak. The roads are super icy from the snowmelt the day before freezing in the subzero temperature. So it was really slow going and dangerous. Normally, driving in Korea is hazardous to one's health but today was even worse and not just because of the ice. The entire time that I was conscious, the only thing I could think of today was that I would find out the gender of our baby. It was on my mind all morning. So, when I was driving through road construction on icy roads, uphill, I really shouldn't have been. Luckily, I've been driving here long enough that apparently even though my mind was not on the road, my eyes apparently were. Thank goodness for muscle memories, eh?
When I got home from the sauna, I still had to wait 2 and a half hours before Yoon mi got off work so I tried wasting time as only social network site games can do. Finally, 1:45 came around and I could leave to pick up my lovely wife from the pharmacy and head to the doctors office. When we walked in, the waiting room was full of women. FULL! well, luckily by the time Yoon mi finished with the blood pressure check and weight check and all the other little checks that the receptionist/nurses can do we only had to wait a few minutes. When we walked into the doctor's room, it seemed like 30 seconds before Yoon mi was on the ultrasound table with a sore head from knocking it on the monitor. I was seated above her head with a full view of the monitor.
My god, there is no way to express the jubilation, the rapid jump in my heart rate, the overflow of emotions when I saw my baby's face pop up on the screen. Then we could see the brain. It looked like two little kidneys. We counted all four lobes of the beating heart before we listened to it pump the life blood that my wife is allowing it to create. We could see the thigh bone as the baby was trying to conceal the entire groin region. I think our little Kong knew why we were invading the privacy of the womb. As I was staring, I remember saying, "I need to remember to blink." Right after my eyes were re-lubricated, I saw the beautiful ribcage and spine followed by the baby's bum. I don't know how long we watched the ultrasound magic, but it ended far too quickly. To my eyes there was no clear evidence if we would have a son or daughter. I thought that we missed the chance and would have to wait until who knows when to see for sure. However, as soon as the doctor stood up, he said something in Korean and I wasn't sure if I understood him correctly, but the look on Yoon mi's face told me that she understood perfectly so she looked at me and told me what he said. He told us what we can expect.
Let's just say that in about 5 years, I'm going to be going to Taekwondo practice and little league baseball games. I'll be out in the park, playing catch.
I'll be watching, cheering, supporting my son.
Today I woke up.
After my alarm went off, I hurried and got dressed so I could take Yoon Mi to work. She works on Saturdays from 9am to 2pm. After I took her, I went to the sauna for a good shower and soak. The roads are super icy from the snowmelt the day before freezing in the subzero temperature. So it was really slow going and dangerous. Normally, driving in Korea is hazardous to one's health but today was even worse and not just because of the ice. The entire time that I was conscious, the only thing I could think of today was that I would find out the gender of our baby. It was on my mind all morning. So, when I was driving through road construction on icy roads, uphill, I really shouldn't have been. Luckily, I've been driving here long enough that apparently even though my mind was not on the road, my eyes apparently were. Thank goodness for muscle memories, eh?
When I got home from the sauna, I still had to wait 2 and a half hours before Yoon mi got off work so I tried wasting time as only social network site games can do. Finally, 1:45 came around and I could leave to pick up my lovely wife from the pharmacy and head to the doctors office. When we walked in, the waiting room was full of women. FULL! well, luckily by the time Yoon mi finished with the blood pressure check and weight check and all the other little checks that the receptionist/nurses can do we only had to wait a few minutes. When we walked into the doctor's room, it seemed like 30 seconds before Yoon mi was on the ultrasound table with a sore head from knocking it on the monitor. I was seated above her head with a full view of the monitor.
My god, there is no way to express the jubilation, the rapid jump in my heart rate, the overflow of emotions when I saw my baby's face pop up on the screen. Then we could see the brain. It looked like two little kidneys. We counted all four lobes of the beating heart before we listened to it pump the life blood that my wife is allowing it to create. We could see the thigh bone as the baby was trying to conceal the entire groin region. I think our little Kong knew why we were invading the privacy of the womb. As I was staring, I remember saying, "I need to remember to blink." Right after my eyes were re-lubricated, I saw the beautiful ribcage and spine followed by the baby's bum. I don't know how long we watched the ultrasound magic, but it ended far too quickly. To my eyes there was no clear evidence if we would have a son or daughter. I thought that we missed the chance and would have to wait until who knows when to see for sure. However, as soon as the doctor stood up, he said something in Korean and I wasn't sure if I understood him correctly, but the look on Yoon mi's face told me that she understood perfectly so she looked at me and told me what he said. He told us what we can expect.
Let's just say that in about 5 years, I'm going to be going to Taekwondo practice and little league baseball games. I'll be out in the park, playing catch.
I'll be watching, cheering, supporting my son.
Today I woke up.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Update
Alright, so life has been going on and I've shied away from just the routine updates of whats going on in my life. So, I'll just kinda lump it all into one entry here.
Yoonmi is progressing beautifully in her pregnancy and her tummy is expanding. Tonight she told me she needs to buy some maternity underwear, ^^. That's awesome!
Also, I've stopped going to the chuna therapy. I went everyday for over 3 weeks and I just felt terrible. Everyday, I'd wake up feeling a little better, but by 9 or 10 I was hunched over like a 90 year old man again. I couldn't stand up straight and when I went into the doctor's clinic, he would have me lay flat on my back or stomach and the pain was so intense, I would start sweating from the effort of holding the pain in check. A couple times sweat mixed with some tears because it hurt so bad. On Tuesdays and Wednesdays I go to an elementary school and teach for 4 hours straight with no break. Even with painkillers it was hard, but with acupuncture, you aren't supposed to have painkillers. So, it was that after finishing my first full Tuesday back at the elementary school that I couldn't face the idea of going back there and putting myself through even more needles and pain. I didn't go and haven't gone since. About 24 hours after I stopped going, I realized that I was feeling better. 48 hours later I was standing straight up again. 1 week later, I could sleep in a bed again and actually walk upright, albeit more of a shuffle, for the full day. So, I've been going to the sauna, alternating in hot tubs and cold baths and hot rooms for about an hour and a half 3-5 times a week. Now, I can sit at my desk for more than 30 minutes and still be able to stand up straight the rest of the day. This may not seem like very much to you, but I'll tell you what, I can now wash the dishes and help take care of the rabbits and my wife knows how great it is. I'm still not back to healthy and I know my spine is still a little out of wack, but after losing 8 kg (17.6 lbs) Its getting better!
We've decorated our house for Christmas with the few decorations we have (more now this year since I brought some back from the States) and we are starting to feel a bit of the Christmas spirit. Today was the first day of snow for us. There has been snow in the mountains and a few of the cities around us, but today we were let out of work 30 minutes early because the snow was about to fall and we're supposed to get around 30cm (11.8 inches) so they wanted us to get home safely ^^ I walked home, all 200 meters.
I still can't wait for this weekend and Saturday just can't seem to get here fast enough, but at least tomorrow night, I have a distraction. A free opera is coming to town and I'm taking Yoon Mi to see Carmen at 7pm. Its a professional gig, but the city paid them well enough to open it up to the public for free. I've seen Carmen before, but it has been a long time. It'll be interesting to see how a Korean woman can play a well endowed, volumptuous harlet.
Yoonmi is progressing beautifully in her pregnancy and her tummy is expanding. Tonight she told me she needs to buy some maternity underwear, ^^. That's awesome!
Also, I've stopped going to the chuna therapy. I went everyday for over 3 weeks and I just felt terrible. Everyday, I'd wake up feeling a little better, but by 9 or 10 I was hunched over like a 90 year old man again. I couldn't stand up straight and when I went into the doctor's clinic, he would have me lay flat on my back or stomach and the pain was so intense, I would start sweating from the effort of holding the pain in check. A couple times sweat mixed with some tears because it hurt so bad. On Tuesdays and Wednesdays I go to an elementary school and teach for 4 hours straight with no break. Even with painkillers it was hard, but with acupuncture, you aren't supposed to have painkillers. So, it was that after finishing my first full Tuesday back at the elementary school that I couldn't face the idea of going back there and putting myself through even more needles and pain. I didn't go and haven't gone since. About 24 hours after I stopped going, I realized that I was feeling better. 48 hours later I was standing straight up again. 1 week later, I could sleep in a bed again and actually walk upright, albeit more of a shuffle, for the full day. So, I've been going to the sauna, alternating in hot tubs and cold baths and hot rooms for about an hour and a half 3-5 times a week. Now, I can sit at my desk for more than 30 minutes and still be able to stand up straight the rest of the day. This may not seem like very much to you, but I'll tell you what, I can now wash the dishes and help take care of the rabbits and my wife knows how great it is. I'm still not back to healthy and I know my spine is still a little out of wack, but after losing 8 kg (17.6 lbs) Its getting better!
We've decorated our house for Christmas with the few decorations we have (more now this year since I brought some back from the States) and we are starting to feel a bit of the Christmas spirit. Today was the first day of snow for us. There has been snow in the mountains and a few of the cities around us, but today we were let out of work 30 minutes early because the snow was about to fall and we're supposed to get around 30cm (11.8 inches) so they wanted us to get home safely ^^ I walked home, all 200 meters.
I still can't wait for this weekend and Saturday just can't seem to get here fast enough, but at least tomorrow night, I have a distraction. A free opera is coming to town and I'm taking Yoon Mi to see Carmen at 7pm. Its a professional gig, but the city paid them well enough to open it up to the public for free. I've seen Carmen before, but it has been a long time. It'll be interesting to see how a Korean woman can play a well endowed, volumptuous harlet.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
The baby's house
So often, when you read about women who are pregnant, you read about how big they are getting. You read their complaints and whines and their concerns that their partner isn't going to like it. I'm here to say that those women are crazy and I want nothing to do with them. Yoon mi is getting bigger. Of course, she's starting to show but if anyone can not absolutely love the belly that his wife is growing to make room for his baby, then he is no kind of man. My wife is excited about her tummy, she lets me hold it, put my head up against it and yes, even take pictures of it.
This is her at the end of November
She is sporting a baby bump at 14 weeks. Its a little hard to see because of the stripes, but its also not that big. In 2 weeks, her tummy grew to this!
hee hee, my baby is in there~!
This is her at the end of November
She is sporting a baby bump at 14 weeks. Its a little hard to see because of the stripes, but its also not that big. In 2 weeks, her tummy grew to this!
hee hee, my baby is in there~!
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Looking forward everyday
On Saturday, 3 more days, Yoon mi and I are going to learn the gender of our baby. I have been waiting for this moment for the past 3 weeks. I thought it was because we are going to find out the gender, but recently I've come to realize that it is not really the discovery that I'm looking forward to. Rather, it is more because I get to see my baby. I get to look into the ground and see the sprout that I planted growing and developing. Only six more months and my little bean is going to be out in this world and I'll be able to hold him/her. This is what I'm looking forward to. I don't care if it is a boy or girl, I just want to see our baby.
3 more days.
just 3
3 more days.
just 3
Political musings
I have really been trying to understand the conservative mindset. I want to understand the reason why conservative people feel the way they do. In this post, when I use the term conservative, I am refering to politically conservative people. Even though I have lived amongst people from many different countries, the main political arguments I hear/follow are from the US so I am really only talking about the American conservative.
I am a liberal thinker. Even though I am pretty far-left wing, I disagree with many things the liberal parties in America try to push through our government. However, I have not been able to understand the thinking behind nearly all the conservative talk. Many of you are liberals but more than a few of you are conservatives. The point of this entry is to A) get my thoughts down before they slide out of my head and get lost to the ether and B) generate feedback to help me understand why people make the decisions they make and get people understanding each other.
Generally, I find myself tired of politics, but it is like being tired of work. You have to keep following it and being involved with it because it has too much influence on your life. I have been involved in several discussions with both sides stating their opinions and many times they seem to be rather intellectual conversations, but too often they are just two sides stating their opinions and telling the other side why they are wrong. From these conversations, I have garnered a few reasons of why they believe what they believe. In no particular order this is what I've heard and why I don't understand it.
1) Religion - (ok, maybe there is some particular order, this being the most prevalent) Most of the time, Conservatives use their religion to defend their principals. But this is the most unfathomable reason for me. In America, most Conservatives are Christians. Christians are supposed to follow the teachings of Christ and live by the code of conduct that he laid down and defended with his life. However, the Christian conservatives that I have talked with today seem to have their bible and their actions twisted. Jesus Christ was a hippy. He was a jobless, homeless man who wandered around from city to city without a form of transportation and relied on the kindness of others to keep himself housed and fed. He taught everyone that he met to love everyone, to love people they disagreed with, to love people who believed things other than he did, to love all the criminals, poor, destitute, rich, everyone. Jesus not only took food and clothes from people, but also taught to give to people also. He was the one who commanded, not suggested, that if you have an extra jacket, to give it to someone who doesn't. In all sense, Jesus was the worst thing to happen to conservative thought. And he was killed for it.
Now, there is supposed to be a seperation of Church and State, and it is often very difficult to honor this. My mum once told me that even though there is a seperation, it is our religious views that lead our decisions. This is undeniable and understandable. However, if this is the case, why is it the conservative parties are so against using taxes to help feed and clothe and house the people who haven't been able to find work in this terrible economy? How is it that Christian conservatives can justify taking money from the poor and average and helping the super rich hold on to their fortunes? When did Jesus tell people to give unto Caesar that which is Caesar's and support him in taking more from you to give more to the tax collectors? When did Jesus say forgive everyone except for those who have really hurt you, those it's ok to kill? What kind of firearm, er spear, did Jesus own for his own protection, and did he spear them before or after he turned the other cheek?
So, those are a few of the points that have been rolling around in my noggin about religion and conservativism.
2) Government responsibility - It seems that a big difference between the Republican party and the Democratic party is that we disagree on the purpose of the government. I think they even disagree amongst themselves. Personally, I feel that the governments job is to take care of it's people. I was told that it is the government's job to protect the country. I agree, I feel that protecting it's citizens is part of taking care of it's people, but protection from foreign forces is only a small part of this job. Countries work best when their people have all their basic needs met. In education, we know that if a child does not feel safe, fed, and loved, they will not be productive in class. This is the same for all people throughout the world. To be a productive country, the US needs to have people who all have housing, food and security. It only makes sense to me that the government would benefit the most if they provided the means for all of its people to have apartments or houses, healthful food and safe borders and cities. Right now, the only thing that I have seen the conservative parties trying to achieve are the safe borders and cities, choosing to spend massive amounts of tax-payers money to build a giant fence instead of using tax-payer money to lure companies back into the country, which would then open more jobs, which would provide the income to house and clothe and feed the people who have had to turn to crime or government subsidies because they have no jobs. I will never argue against the military, I think our military personnel are amazing servants of the people and I respect them greatly. However, we would find a lot of our internal issues lessoned if we had gainful employment for the people.
Its getting really late and I've lost my train of thought, if I can think of other arguments, then I'll post another entry about it. So, what do you think?
I am a liberal thinker. Even though I am pretty far-left wing, I disagree with many things the liberal parties in America try to push through our government. However, I have not been able to understand the thinking behind nearly all the conservative talk. Many of you are liberals but more than a few of you are conservatives. The point of this entry is to A) get my thoughts down before they slide out of my head and get lost to the ether and B) generate feedback to help me understand why people make the decisions they make and get people understanding each other.
Generally, I find myself tired of politics, but it is like being tired of work. You have to keep following it and being involved with it because it has too much influence on your life. I have been involved in several discussions with both sides stating their opinions and many times they seem to be rather intellectual conversations, but too often they are just two sides stating their opinions and telling the other side why they are wrong. From these conversations, I have garnered a few reasons of why they believe what they believe. In no particular order this is what I've heard and why I don't understand it.
1) Religion - (ok, maybe there is some particular order, this being the most prevalent) Most of the time, Conservatives use their religion to defend their principals. But this is the most unfathomable reason for me. In America, most Conservatives are Christians. Christians are supposed to follow the teachings of Christ and live by the code of conduct that he laid down and defended with his life. However, the Christian conservatives that I have talked with today seem to have their bible and their actions twisted. Jesus Christ was a hippy. He was a jobless, homeless man who wandered around from city to city without a form of transportation and relied on the kindness of others to keep himself housed and fed. He taught everyone that he met to love everyone, to love people they disagreed with, to love people who believed things other than he did, to love all the criminals, poor, destitute, rich, everyone. Jesus not only took food and clothes from people, but also taught to give to people also. He was the one who commanded, not suggested, that if you have an extra jacket, to give it to someone who doesn't. In all sense, Jesus was the worst thing to happen to conservative thought. And he was killed for it.
Now, there is supposed to be a seperation of Church and State, and it is often very difficult to honor this. My mum once told me that even though there is a seperation, it is our religious views that lead our decisions. This is undeniable and understandable. However, if this is the case, why is it the conservative parties are so against using taxes to help feed and clothe and house the people who haven't been able to find work in this terrible economy? How is it that Christian conservatives can justify taking money from the poor and average and helping the super rich hold on to their fortunes? When did Jesus tell people to give unto Caesar that which is Caesar's and support him in taking more from you to give more to the tax collectors? When did Jesus say forgive everyone except for those who have really hurt you, those it's ok to kill? What kind of firearm, er spear, did Jesus own for his own protection, and did he spear them before or after he turned the other cheek?
So, those are a few of the points that have been rolling around in my noggin about religion and conservativism.
2) Government responsibility - It seems that a big difference between the Republican party and the Democratic party is that we disagree on the purpose of the government. I think they even disagree amongst themselves. Personally, I feel that the governments job is to take care of it's people. I was told that it is the government's job to protect the country. I agree, I feel that protecting it's citizens is part of taking care of it's people, but protection from foreign forces is only a small part of this job. Countries work best when their people have all their basic needs met. In education, we know that if a child does not feel safe, fed, and loved, they will not be productive in class. This is the same for all people throughout the world. To be a productive country, the US needs to have people who all have housing, food and security. It only makes sense to me that the government would benefit the most if they provided the means for all of its people to have apartments or houses, healthful food and safe borders and cities. Right now, the only thing that I have seen the conservative parties trying to achieve are the safe borders and cities, choosing to spend massive amounts of tax-payers money to build a giant fence instead of using tax-payer money to lure companies back into the country, which would then open more jobs, which would provide the income to house and clothe and feed the people who have had to turn to crime or government subsidies because they have no jobs. I will never argue against the military, I think our military personnel are amazing servants of the people and I respect them greatly. However, we would find a lot of our internal issues lessoned if we had gainful employment for the people.
Its getting really late and I've lost my train of thought, if I can think of other arguments, then I'll post another entry about it. So, what do you think?
Friday, December 2, 2011
The first feeling
Last Tuesday, Yoon Mi and I took a fellow EPIK teacher out for dinner and talked rabbits. As most of you know, we take care of 2 rabbits (ages nearly 3 and nearly 2) and our friend Haeinn has 2 at her place as well. She is a much newer rabbit-carer and so we imparted a bit of wisdom and some of the hay that our rabbits refuse to eat.
After dinner, we drove home and as soon as we got out of the car, Yoon Mi let out an audible, "oh~". Being naturally overcautious at this stage, I asked her if she was ok. I thought maybe she just stepped into a big puddle or got her jacket dirty or something. She didn't respond and she just stood there holding her baby bump, so then I actually started to get a bit concerned, but then I saw the giant smile when she asked, "it's too early to feel anything, right?"
My heart leaped!
My baby just felt my baby roll around inside her for the first time. Amazing
After dinner, we drove home and as soon as we got out of the car, Yoon Mi let out an audible, "oh~". Being naturally overcautious at this stage, I asked her if she was ok. I thought maybe she just stepped into a big puddle or got her jacket dirty or something. She didn't respond and she just stood there holding her baby bump, so then I actually started to get a bit concerned, but then I saw the giant smile when she asked, "it's too early to feel anything, right?"
My heart leaped!
My baby just felt my baby roll around inside her for the first time. Amazing
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
The true power of rain
It has been raining for the past couple days. Many of you guys are from the Pacific Northwest and know rain. You know rain so well that if you were to use rain as your primary character in a novel you would know how it would react in any situation. I think that in about 1000 years all babies in the Pacific Northwest are going to be born with webbed feet and excessively oily skin.
As annoying as rain is, I know how to deal with it. I think I'm the only person at my school who doesn't carry an umbrella but prefers to just wear a waterproof jacket. We all know how important rain is. We know that excessive amounts of rain can cause severe damage. Most recently, this can be best expressed with what happened in Thailand. However, for me, that isn't the true power of rain.
There are many, many types of weather we experience throughout the year; hot and arid, hot and humid, snowy, foggy, overcast, windy, and more. But the most influential is rain. How many times have people literally felt their emotions change drastically with other weather types. When it is sunny, people are generally happier. Many people feel that childhood giddiness in them when they see snow for the first time of the winter. But when one wakes up in the morning and sees that it is still raining, still soaking everything, still making your joints ache and your pant cuffs wet, there is never any emotion other than gloom. When people get married, they hope for sunny days, or if it's in the winter, they hope for a white christmas (if you're in the Northern Hemisphere) but never once do people hope to have their big events on a rainy day. The only time I've ever heard people wish for rain was in Oklahoma when the farmers needed the rain to grow their wheat. . .then they curse it when it doesn't stop at the right time.
Sure there are some exceptions to the norm, but in general, I feel that the true power of rain is its pure, undeniable ability to rain on everyone's parade.
As annoying as rain is, I know how to deal with it. I think I'm the only person at my school who doesn't carry an umbrella but prefers to just wear a waterproof jacket. We all know how important rain is. We know that excessive amounts of rain can cause severe damage. Most recently, this can be best expressed with what happened in Thailand. However, for me, that isn't the true power of rain.
There are many, many types of weather we experience throughout the year; hot and arid, hot and humid, snowy, foggy, overcast, windy, and more. But the most influential is rain. How many times have people literally felt their emotions change drastically with other weather types. When it is sunny, people are generally happier. Many people feel that childhood giddiness in them when they see snow for the first time of the winter. But when one wakes up in the morning and sees that it is still raining, still soaking everything, still making your joints ache and your pant cuffs wet, there is never any emotion other than gloom. When people get married, they hope for sunny days, or if it's in the winter, they hope for a white christmas (if you're in the Northern Hemisphere) but never once do people hope to have their big events on a rainy day. The only time I've ever heard people wish for rain was in Oklahoma when the farmers needed the rain to grow their wheat. . .then they curse it when it doesn't stop at the right time.
Sure there are some exceptions to the norm, but in general, I feel that the true power of rain is its pure, undeniable ability to rain on everyone's parade.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Thanksgiving is Thanksgiving, no matter where you are
Yesterday was Thanksgiving for us. Because it is not a holiday in Korea, we obviously couldn't get Thursday off. That doesn't matter to me. For about a month a few of the other ex-pats here in Donghae have been planning a Thanksgiving party. Because we all live in apartments that are far too small to have more than 10 people over, Amanda and Bob asked a club owner if we could celebrate at his club. Now, this might seem strange but the owner, Mini, loves foreigners. He has a few Korean friends, but the majority of his best friends are English speaking ex-pats. He was more than happy to open his club early so we could invade and start food prep.
Most of the people handling the preperations got there around 10 am. Pre-recorded football games were playing and drinks were flowing. However, I showed up later. Yoon mi finished work at 2pm and I picked her up and took her to an amazing coffee/tea shop. She had some lemon tea and I allowed myself a cappucino. Then we went home and I laid down a little bit to relax my back a bit before we went out. So, I ended up getting to the club around 5. One of my South African friends is getting married to a Scottish man. Hazel and Craig are fantastic and very fun to talk with. Because Craig is Scottish and Hazel is South African, they didn't really understand American football so well. Hazel helped me understand the finer points of rugby so that I could actually enjoy that game. So, when Hazel asked if she could come sit by me at the bar so I could teach her about American football, I was more than happy.
Around 6:30 the dinner was ready, I carved one of the chickens (we had turkey, but they are incredibly expensive here so the chicken was an essential supplement). When you have Thanksgiving in the US or Canada you get together with your family and have the same meal you had the year before and the year before that, generally. However, when you have Thanksgiving in Korea, you get together with your local family. Foreigners from all over the world and their Korean friends (and my family) gathered together and brought their own contribution to our potluck Thanksgiving dinner. We had people from all over the US, Canada, S. Africa, Australia, Scotland, Nepal, and S. Carolina. We could choose from the traditional foods, turkey/chicken, mashed potatoes, mashed potatoes with cheese, scalloped potatoes, green bean casserole, broccoli casserole, fruit salad, sweet potato pie, macaroni and cheese, stuffing and more. Furthermore, we could have Nepalese chicken curry, lamb kebobs, chicken skewers, and some other stuff that I just can't remember. For dessert, Bob and Amanda baked 12 pies! Pumpkin and Peanut Butter! oh my god! This Thanksgiving goes down in the annals of AMAZING DINNERS! Plus, the camaraderie is fantastic. I haven't been able to go out and see my Korean family since Halloween and it was really nice to see everyone. People were sympathetic about my back, offering suggestions and such. They were also very excited to see Yoon mi's little baby bump. It's so cute and little that its hard to not be excited!
Anyway, I ate a little bit of everything but the whole time I was worried about my diet. Today, I went to the sauna and weighed myself. After that entire dinner and 2 beers, I gained about half a kilogram. So, It's a step in the wrong direction but what a delicious and beautiful backward step!
Most of the people handling the preperations got there around 10 am. Pre-recorded football games were playing and drinks were flowing. However, I showed up later. Yoon mi finished work at 2pm and I picked her up and took her to an amazing coffee/tea shop. She had some lemon tea and I allowed myself a cappucino. Then we went home and I laid down a little bit to relax my back a bit before we went out. So, I ended up getting to the club around 5. One of my South African friends is getting married to a Scottish man. Hazel and Craig are fantastic and very fun to talk with. Because Craig is Scottish and Hazel is South African, they didn't really understand American football so well. Hazel helped me understand the finer points of rugby so that I could actually enjoy that game. So, when Hazel asked if she could come sit by me at the bar so I could teach her about American football, I was more than happy.
Around 6:30 the dinner was ready, I carved one of the chickens (we had turkey, but they are incredibly expensive here so the chicken was an essential supplement). When you have Thanksgiving in the US or Canada you get together with your family and have the same meal you had the year before and the year before that, generally. However, when you have Thanksgiving in Korea, you get together with your local family. Foreigners from all over the world and their Korean friends (and my family) gathered together and brought their own contribution to our potluck Thanksgiving dinner. We had people from all over the US, Canada, S. Africa, Australia, Scotland, Nepal, and S. Carolina. We could choose from the traditional foods, turkey/chicken, mashed potatoes, mashed potatoes with cheese, scalloped potatoes, green bean casserole, broccoli casserole, fruit salad, sweet potato pie, macaroni and cheese, stuffing and more. Furthermore, we could have Nepalese chicken curry, lamb kebobs, chicken skewers, and some other stuff that I just can't remember. For dessert, Bob and Amanda baked 12 pies! Pumpkin and Peanut Butter! oh my god! This Thanksgiving goes down in the annals of AMAZING DINNERS! Plus, the camaraderie is fantastic. I haven't been able to go out and see my Korean family since Halloween and it was really nice to see everyone. People were sympathetic about my back, offering suggestions and such. They were also very excited to see Yoon mi's little baby bump. It's so cute and little that its hard to not be excited!
Anyway, I ate a little bit of everything but the whole time I was worried about my diet. Today, I went to the sauna and weighed myself. After that entire dinner and 2 beers, I gained about half a kilogram. So, It's a step in the wrong direction but what a delicious and beautiful backward step!
Friday, November 25, 2011
I cannot tell a lie
Nothing special really happened this week and instead of writing another post about how I quit going to the doctor and my back has gotten better and better, I've decided to reach back into my past.
As many of you know, I hate lying. I hate it when people lie to me and I don't lie to other people. I am such a piss poor liar that if I ever did, a 9-year old deaf kid would be able to tell that I was lying. Unlike many things about me, I can actually pinpoint a specific event in my life that has made me this way.
In elementary school, I was good at math. I enjoyed it. When it came time for my math lessons, I blew through the exercises like wind through Lindsay Lohan's ears. However, when I got into middle school, I was bored to tears. The lessons were too simple, I didn't care about it one bit, and my teacher was hopelessly boring. It's not her fault, really. It's math in general. Besides the lesson itself, the assignments were more tedious than painting a box of toothpicks. 25 problems of the exact same thing which was too easy for me anyway. Not only did I have to get through the 25 problems, I had to show HOW I got the answer. . .I just knew it. . .but that didn't matter. 81 divided by 9. well, duh, its 9. but I actually had to show the steps I took to get to that point. I couldn't be bothered so I just sat in the back of the class and read my books. . . probably Hatchet by Gary Paulsen and some choose your own adventure books. I think it was at this point that I tried to read A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court by Twain, but that didn't go over very well.
Well, needless to say, I failed that class and like all good parents should do, I was grounded for the summer. I had to go to summer school to make up the credit. Summer school was held at my middle school Monday-Friday from 8am-noon. I had to walk there, so I left at 7:30 every morning and got home at 12:30 every afternoon. I would then do several chores my parents set up for me and was not allowed to use the phone or tv; nor was I allowed to go anywhere or have any friends over.
The way my summer school worked was that each day we do a lesson and on Fridays we take a test. If you passed the test with a high enough percentage, you could progress to the next chapter. However, if you took the test early, you could skip the lessons and go on to the next chapter. I think it was sometime in the second week that I realized this. So, instead of doing each lesson and test, I just got to school at 8, took the test, left at 8:45 and went to my friend's house. His name was Jimmy but I don't really remember much else about him except that he lived right by my school. At 12:30 I would find myself at home and complaining about how boring my school was. I don't remember exactly how long summer school was supposed to take nor how long it actually took me to finish it, but I think I was done with summer school by the end of the 3rd week. But, every morning I would continue the facade because I wanted to get out of the house and play with my friends. Everyday, I would lie to my parents and play with my friend.
My mum came home from grocery shopping one day and asked me how summer school was going. I said something like, "oh, it's so boring and I hate having to go." This is when my mum told me that she saw my teacher in the grocery store and found out that I had already graduated from the program and she hadn't seen me for quite some time. Instead of facing up to it, I am pretty sure that I continued to lie to her.
I was already grounded, my parents had done everything they could think of to punish me for being bad. Instead, my parents sat me down and simply told me, "There is nothing else we can do. You have broken our trust and once you do that, it takes a very long time to get it back, if you can at all. Just know that at one point, we would've trusted you about anything, but now if you tell us your name is Jim, [it was at that point] we can't believe you." I don't know if it was exactly those words but it was pretty close. From that point on, I have shunned lying.
I can't say I haven't lied since then, but I can say that I tried very hard to not lie after that. I realized that the one thing in my life that I have complete control over is my honor and if I can't keep that, then I'm no good to anyone. Unfortunately, with the slight obsessive-compulsiveness that I do have, I have taken it a bit too far. If someone asks me if their joke was funny, I can't tell them yes. Instead I will change the subject. If my wife asks me if something looks bad on her, I tell her. Not always the best thing, but at least people know that I'm telling them the honest truth.
This has led to other problems in my friendships. Some of my closest friends know that I cannot lie and that I can be a bit harsh when it comes to the truth. So, if they have a secret that they don't want to get out and I ask them about it directly, they have lied to me. When I catch them in that lie, they'll always come clean with me but they always tell me that the reason they lied to me in the first place was because they knew I can't lie and they didn't want anyone asking me about it. For example, I have a friend over here who teaches private lessons. These lessons are illegal and if caught, they could be fined heavily and deported. I asked them about it and they flat out told me that they don't teach private lessons. However, the next day or week one of my students came up to me and asked if I knew this person, I said, "sure, how do you?" when my student told me that this person was her private tutor, my heart dropped. "How could my friend lie to me?" I thought. It is the one thing that can turn a friend to a foe for me. When I confronted my friend, this person explained that if anyone asked me about this person, I would've had to tell the truth about it and that could've caused unwanted problems.
This is a dance I have to dance now because I have made a conscious decision to not lie to anyone. However, I have become proficient in not lying but not telling the truth too. I can dance around the truth so well that I would be a sure winner in dancing with the stars.
As many of you know, I hate lying. I hate it when people lie to me and I don't lie to other people. I am such a piss poor liar that if I ever did, a 9-year old deaf kid would be able to tell that I was lying. Unlike many things about me, I can actually pinpoint a specific event in my life that has made me this way.
In elementary school, I was good at math. I enjoyed it. When it came time for my math lessons, I blew through the exercises like wind through Lindsay Lohan's ears. However, when I got into middle school, I was bored to tears. The lessons were too simple, I didn't care about it one bit, and my teacher was hopelessly boring. It's not her fault, really. It's math in general. Besides the lesson itself, the assignments were more tedious than painting a box of toothpicks. 25 problems of the exact same thing which was too easy for me anyway. Not only did I have to get through the 25 problems, I had to show HOW I got the answer. . .I just knew it. . .but that didn't matter. 81 divided by 9. well, duh, its 9. but I actually had to show the steps I took to get to that point. I couldn't be bothered so I just sat in the back of the class and read my books. . . probably Hatchet by Gary Paulsen and some choose your own adventure books. I think it was at this point that I tried to read A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court by Twain, but that didn't go over very well.
Well, needless to say, I failed that class and like all good parents should do, I was grounded for the summer. I had to go to summer school to make up the credit. Summer school was held at my middle school Monday-Friday from 8am-noon. I had to walk there, so I left at 7:30 every morning and got home at 12:30 every afternoon. I would then do several chores my parents set up for me and was not allowed to use the phone or tv; nor was I allowed to go anywhere or have any friends over.
The way my summer school worked was that each day we do a lesson and on Fridays we take a test. If you passed the test with a high enough percentage, you could progress to the next chapter. However, if you took the test early, you could skip the lessons and go on to the next chapter. I think it was sometime in the second week that I realized this. So, instead of doing each lesson and test, I just got to school at 8, took the test, left at 8:45 and went to my friend's house. His name was Jimmy but I don't really remember much else about him except that he lived right by my school. At 12:30 I would find myself at home and complaining about how boring my school was. I don't remember exactly how long summer school was supposed to take nor how long it actually took me to finish it, but I think I was done with summer school by the end of the 3rd week. But, every morning I would continue the facade because I wanted to get out of the house and play with my friends. Everyday, I would lie to my parents and play with my friend.
My mum came home from grocery shopping one day and asked me how summer school was going. I said something like, "oh, it's so boring and I hate having to go." This is when my mum told me that she saw my teacher in the grocery store and found out that I had already graduated from the program and she hadn't seen me for quite some time. Instead of facing up to it, I am pretty sure that I continued to lie to her.
I was already grounded, my parents had done everything they could think of to punish me for being bad. Instead, my parents sat me down and simply told me, "There is nothing else we can do. You have broken our trust and once you do that, it takes a very long time to get it back, if you can at all. Just know that at one point, we would've trusted you about anything, but now if you tell us your name is Jim, [it was at that point] we can't believe you." I don't know if it was exactly those words but it was pretty close. From that point on, I have shunned lying.
I can't say I haven't lied since then, but I can say that I tried very hard to not lie after that. I realized that the one thing in my life that I have complete control over is my honor and if I can't keep that, then I'm no good to anyone. Unfortunately, with the slight obsessive-compulsiveness that I do have, I have taken it a bit too far. If someone asks me if their joke was funny, I can't tell them yes. Instead I will change the subject. If my wife asks me if something looks bad on her, I tell her. Not always the best thing, but at least people know that I'm telling them the honest truth.
This has led to other problems in my friendships. Some of my closest friends know that I cannot lie and that I can be a bit harsh when it comes to the truth. So, if they have a secret that they don't want to get out and I ask them about it directly, they have lied to me. When I catch them in that lie, they'll always come clean with me but they always tell me that the reason they lied to me in the first place was because they knew I can't lie and they didn't want anyone asking me about it. For example, I have a friend over here who teaches private lessons. These lessons are illegal and if caught, they could be fined heavily and deported. I asked them about it and they flat out told me that they don't teach private lessons. However, the next day or week one of my students came up to me and asked if I knew this person, I said, "sure, how do you?" when my student told me that this person was her private tutor, my heart dropped. "How could my friend lie to me?" I thought. It is the one thing that can turn a friend to a foe for me. When I confronted my friend, this person explained that if anyone asked me about this person, I would've had to tell the truth about it and that could've caused unwanted problems.
This is a dance I have to dance now because I have made a conscious decision to not lie to anyone. However, I have become proficient in not lying but not telling the truth too. I can dance around the truth so well that I would be a sure winner in dancing with the stars.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
art and stuff
So, I've been reading some other blogs and I've come to the realization that blogs with art are 57% more interesting than blogs without. Even a great blog gets overlooked when there are no pictures. Now, I'm as artistic as a carrot so the idea of me drawing pictures to put in my blog is out. However, I know some of my readers are artistic so I'm putting out a call, if any of you would like to draw something from my blogs, please email it to me and I'll put it in the appropriate blog. Thanks!
Gas expulsion
So, I'm a normal guy. At any given time I would guess that somewhere between 1/3 and 1/2 of my body weight consists of gas. It likes to escape from just about every opening as possible. Normally. However, since I've started this diet and haven't been able to go out . . .or move, I have had a major decline in the production of gas. I didn't realize it until this evening. I ate some hot stone-pot bibimbap (DELICIOUS!) and laid down. I was playing my favorite Wii fishing game while I was resting my back and then I sat up. As soon as I sat up a huge burp just escaped from my mouth. I didn't know it was there and it just erupted like vesuvius. It felt amazing but it actually scared me a bit.
I guess the reason I didn't realize it had left me was because my 14 week pregnant wife has been making up for my absence. . . today I thought she ripped the chair.
Well, I guess I'm doing my part for global warming, now someone needs to get my wife to do her part.
I have to say though, I don't mind the noises she makes. Maybe I'm crazy, but its kinda cute and I know that its because our little kong (K-oh-ng ,콩) is making her do it.
I guess the reason I didn't realize it had left me was because my 14 week pregnant wife has been making up for my absence. . . today I thought she ripped the chair.
Well, I guess I'm doing my part for global warming, now someone needs to get my wife to do her part.
I have to say though, I don't mind the noises she makes. Maybe I'm crazy, but its kinda cute and I know that its because our little kong (K-oh-ng ,콩) is making her do it.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Frustration and Gratitude
Today was my first day back at work after a week off to try and heal. Walking to work was painful and it took me 13 minutes to travel what normally takes me 2 and a half. When I got to school, I stopped in to say hello to the principal and he told me to go home because today and tomorrow are festival days and no classes. I had some work to do as coordinator though so I went up to my desk and took care of that.
My co-teacher informed me that I have used up all of my sick days and if I take anymore days off I will not get paid for it. So, I settled in for the day. I went over to the gym and watched the girls do their little dance routines and such. I hobbled back to the office while all the girls came up to me, concerned asking if I was sick, if I was ok, if my back was better. It was really sweet and I tried to answer them with all the courtesy I could muster, but the truth was, I was dying. At some point in the day, I went and laid down in the office on the dirty floor; sitting had lost its comfort for me.
At 4:25 my coteacher came back into the office and asked why I stayed all day. I reminded him that he told me I wouldn't get paid for it. He sighed and said if I stayed home all day, I wouldn't get paid, but if I went home early, it's ok. Whatever. I've been here for over 5 years and I STILL can't understand how anything works. So, tomorrow, I'm supposed to go in 25 minutes late, and sign out 6 minutes later. . . then it's all ok.
Well, at 4:30 I left. at 4:45 I got home. at 5:00 I went to the doctor. Everything I had gained from the week off seemed to have gone out the window. I couldn't stand up, and NOW I can't lay flat on my back without a red hot dagger digging in to my hip, butt and left calf. When I was supposed to put my legs down flat I nearly cried. So, I laid on my side and everything was ok. Then I went into the other room and they had me lay on my stomach, nearly as painful but bearable. The doctor put wedges under each hip and proceeded to massage my lower back. Then he got up on the table and stood on my hips. It was the most relief I've ever felt in my life. . . until he got off my back, then the daggers came back full force. I had to lay there, trying to squeeze gold out of the mattress and bed frame. He injected me with bee venom and applied red hot needles again. Jesus H. Christ. I just can't deal with this pain anymore. I am so frustrated with this whole thing.
When I finished, I hobbled back out to the car and some of my students were outside. They were so concerned that for a second I actually forgot that I was hurt. They told me they were sad that I didn't perform at the festival today (I was supposed to play guitar and sing) but they understand. I got back in the car and called my wife. I was in so much pain that I had to lean over the steering wheel. . but the kindness in my wife's voice as she told me to hurry home and eat and rest was so wonderful. Yoon mi, if you ever read this, I love you and appreciate everything you are doing to help me out right now. 사랑해. 진짜 사랑해!
My co-teacher informed me that I have used up all of my sick days and if I take anymore days off I will not get paid for it. So, I settled in for the day. I went over to the gym and watched the girls do their little dance routines and such. I hobbled back to the office while all the girls came up to me, concerned asking if I was sick, if I was ok, if my back was better. It was really sweet and I tried to answer them with all the courtesy I could muster, but the truth was, I was dying. At some point in the day, I went and laid down in the office on the dirty floor; sitting had lost its comfort for me.
At 4:25 my coteacher came back into the office and asked why I stayed all day. I reminded him that he told me I wouldn't get paid for it. He sighed and said if I stayed home all day, I wouldn't get paid, but if I went home early, it's ok. Whatever. I've been here for over 5 years and I STILL can't understand how anything works. So, tomorrow, I'm supposed to go in 25 minutes late, and sign out 6 minutes later. . . then it's all ok.
Well, at 4:30 I left. at 4:45 I got home. at 5:00 I went to the doctor. Everything I had gained from the week off seemed to have gone out the window. I couldn't stand up, and NOW I can't lay flat on my back without a red hot dagger digging in to my hip, butt and left calf. When I was supposed to put my legs down flat I nearly cried. So, I laid on my side and everything was ok. Then I went into the other room and they had me lay on my stomach, nearly as painful but bearable. The doctor put wedges under each hip and proceeded to massage my lower back. Then he got up on the table and stood on my hips. It was the most relief I've ever felt in my life. . . until he got off my back, then the daggers came back full force. I had to lay there, trying to squeeze gold out of the mattress and bed frame. He injected me with bee venom and applied red hot needles again. Jesus H. Christ. I just can't deal with this pain anymore. I am so frustrated with this whole thing.
When I finished, I hobbled back out to the car and some of my students were outside. They were so concerned that for a second I actually forgot that I was hurt. They told me they were sad that I didn't perform at the festival today (I was supposed to play guitar and sing) but they understand. I got back in the car and called my wife. I was in so much pain that I had to lean over the steering wheel. . but the kindness in my wife's voice as she told me to hurry home and eat and rest was so wonderful. Yoon mi, if you ever read this, I love you and appreciate everything you are doing to help me out right now. 사랑해. 진짜 사랑해!
Saturday, November 19, 2011
International living
When I lived in the US, I lived all my life in a small town 45 miles away from Seattle. I grew up captivated by the sight of Mt. Ranier and I am one of the few who know why Western Washington is so rainy. The people in the town I grew up in chose to live there because it was stunningly gorgeous and close to the city but far enough away that they didn't have to deal with the bustle and liberality of a large West coast city. I didn't choose to live there. When I did, I wanted to get out of there. I wanted little to do with the whole place. I hated the school. I hated the town. I hated the rain. I hated the people. I hated the redneck, narrow-minded, racist idiots that I thought made up the entirety of the population. As I grew up, lived elsewhere and gone back home, I realized that I was a stupid kid. Thank god I got smarter.
Anyway, I lived for 20 years in the Pacific Northwest of the USA. I moved to Oklahoma in August of my 20th year and learned a whole new way of life. It is mind-boggling to think that the people in Washington state and the people in Oklahoma are of the same nationality. Sure, they speak the same language, mostly. Sure, they have the same president. But the similarities are few and far between. I'm not going to get into all the differences here because I'm already having a hard time focusing on my one idea. Even though I moved in country, this is pretty much when my international living started. The only way I could get home to a culture and people I had a lot in common with was by driving for 3 days or getting on a plane and having a layover in Denver. Because I moved there, basically on my own (I had an "aunt and uncle" an hour away) I was forced to make friends from scratch. The university I went to was incredibly small. I think there were more students in my high school than there were in my entire university!
In the process of making friends, I had to understand and accept this foreign culture and adapt myself to it. I didn't have to give up who I was, but I definitely had to change the way I went about things. It took me a while, but eventually I made some pretty tight friends in Oklahoma. Then I moved up to Illinois. Again, this is a new environment. It was a little bit of Oklahoma (because it is definitely still meat and potatoes mid-west) and a little bit of the Northwest (the people didn't care about every little thing you had in your cart at wal-mart) but it was also different. For the first time I had to deal with incredibly impoverished black students and their unique culture. I only lived there for 9 months though and got out of there as quickly as possible.
Since then, I've lived in S. Korea. Not only is this a foreign speaking country, its whole history is completely different from any Euro-based civilization. This is Asia. Absolutely. When you walk down the hair dye section of the local mega-mart, you see black, black, black, and black. Everyone in this country has dark hair. If it isn't black, its close enough that any white person will usually say it is. The fashion is different. The protocols of greeting, hanging out, saying goodbye are different. The dating methods are insanely different. Work ethic is different (my first job I had 3 sick days a year. If I used one, I was frowned upon). To make a long list short, basically everything was different except they drove on the same side of the road. Ah, heck, even their toilets are different!
The absolutely beautiful thing about having lived in so many different cultures is the vast variety of friends I've made. When I look at my blog readers, the US has the most readers followed by Korea, but I also have readers in Germany, France, Canada, Australia, Bahrain, Thailand, and some others I can't remember right now. . .OH! Brazil too. Periodically, I go through the friends I've met and would be happy to have stay with me and I'm pretty sure I could stay with them. Let me do this now. If I was to travel around the world, right now, I could stay for free (may be on a couch or in a van, but its free) in Korea, Japan, UAE, Bahrain, Myanmar, Thailand, Australia, New Zealand, India, Spain, France, England, Scotland, Ireland, Canada, Germany, Switzerland, Norway, even Nova Scotia! I feel like I'm missing some, but I can't think of them right now. If you are from a different country than I listed and feel like I should've included you, then please let me know. If not, then when I DO remember, then I'll know how you really feel, ha!
Since I've been in Korea, I have become very close friends with English speaking people from so many different countries and I am open to their opinions on anything, yes, including America. This has opened my eyes to some of the cultural idiosyncracies of the US and it is quite interesting to see it. Americans, you know how you can't go a day without hearing about God or talking about him at least 19 times? yeah, that's you. Most other countries don't have this compulsion to express their opinions on religion as we do. Christian, Buddhist, Jewish, Atheist, it doesn't matter. Americans speak about religion more than any other people I've ever known. Don't think so? Try this out. Tomorrow, listen closely and pay attention to how many times you hear, see or say something religious. Besides this, my last count was 1 time in the past week.
You know why?
I was speaking to my mum, an American.
Anyway, I lived for 20 years in the Pacific Northwest of the USA. I moved to Oklahoma in August of my 20th year and learned a whole new way of life. It is mind-boggling to think that the people in Washington state and the people in Oklahoma are of the same nationality. Sure, they speak the same language, mostly. Sure, they have the same president. But the similarities are few and far between. I'm not going to get into all the differences here because I'm already having a hard time focusing on my one idea. Even though I moved in country, this is pretty much when my international living started. The only way I could get home to a culture and people I had a lot in common with was by driving for 3 days or getting on a plane and having a layover in Denver. Because I moved there, basically on my own (I had an "aunt and uncle" an hour away) I was forced to make friends from scratch. The university I went to was incredibly small. I think there were more students in my high school than there were in my entire university!
In the process of making friends, I had to understand and accept this foreign culture and adapt myself to it. I didn't have to give up who I was, but I definitely had to change the way I went about things. It took me a while, but eventually I made some pretty tight friends in Oklahoma. Then I moved up to Illinois. Again, this is a new environment. It was a little bit of Oklahoma (because it is definitely still meat and potatoes mid-west) and a little bit of the Northwest (the people didn't care about every little thing you had in your cart at wal-mart) but it was also different. For the first time I had to deal with incredibly impoverished black students and their unique culture. I only lived there for 9 months though and got out of there as quickly as possible.
Since then, I've lived in S. Korea. Not only is this a foreign speaking country, its whole history is completely different from any Euro-based civilization. This is Asia. Absolutely. When you walk down the hair dye section of the local mega-mart, you see black, black, black, and black. Everyone in this country has dark hair. If it isn't black, its close enough that any white person will usually say it is. The fashion is different. The protocols of greeting, hanging out, saying goodbye are different. The dating methods are insanely different. Work ethic is different (my first job I had 3 sick days a year. If I used one, I was frowned upon). To make a long list short, basically everything was different except they drove on the same side of the road. Ah, heck, even their toilets are different!
The absolutely beautiful thing about having lived in so many different cultures is the vast variety of friends I've made. When I look at my blog readers, the US has the most readers followed by Korea, but I also have readers in Germany, France, Canada, Australia, Bahrain, Thailand, and some others I can't remember right now. . .OH! Brazil too. Periodically, I go through the friends I've met and would be happy to have stay with me and I'm pretty sure I could stay with them. Let me do this now. If I was to travel around the world, right now, I could stay for free (may be on a couch or in a van, but its free) in Korea, Japan, UAE, Bahrain, Myanmar, Thailand, Australia, New Zealand, India, Spain, France, England, Scotland, Ireland, Canada, Germany, Switzerland, Norway, even Nova Scotia! I feel like I'm missing some, but I can't think of them right now. If you are from a different country than I listed and feel like I should've included you, then please let me know. If not, then when I DO remember, then I'll know how you really feel, ha!
Since I've been in Korea, I have become very close friends with English speaking people from so many different countries and I am open to their opinions on anything, yes, including America. This has opened my eyes to some of the cultural idiosyncracies of the US and it is quite interesting to see it. Americans, you know how you can't go a day without hearing about God or talking about him at least 19 times? yeah, that's you. Most other countries don't have this compulsion to express their opinions on religion as we do. Christian, Buddhist, Jewish, Atheist, it doesn't matter. Americans speak about religion more than any other people I've ever known. Don't think so? Try this out. Tomorrow, listen closely and pay attention to how many times you hear, see or say something religious. Besides this, my last count was 1 time in the past week.
You know why?
I was speaking to my mum, an American.
Friday, November 18, 2011
one sick bunny
Yesterday, when I got home from therapy and sauna, I let rumor out to play. Yoon mi went to a dinner for Koreans and foreigners alone. I was supposed to go but a couple things kept me away. First and foremost was that it required moving around and sitting in comfortable chairs. That just sounded way too painful. Second, it was at an Italian restaurant and that would've been disaster for all I worked for in the past week.
So, I was at home for quite sometime with nothing to do but lay invalid and watch Red Dwarf. Normally, this would be heaven but I've been doing the same thing all week. So, I was happy to have Rumor come out and stretch his legs for a bit. I sat in the computer chair so that he could feel free to run around and play. We have a mat on the floor that I've been sleeping on to ease my backpain. He LOVES this thing. Rumor will run from the spare bedroom into the living room, spring up into the air, do some twists then land on the pad, turn around and run into his room to then run back into the living room and do some more. I have a video of it, but like the ultrasound pics, I can't seem to get them loaded onto my computer in a way to let me upload it.
Anyway, he played around for about 30 minutes and then got too tired. I fed him and commenced watching Lister berate Rimmer while Cat modeled his new suit. When Yoon mi got home later, she tried to give Rumor a banana (his favorite noms). But he refused it. That's a sure sign that he has a sour stomache. Poor guy, this happens to him a couple times a year. I think it may have something to do with his shedding because it tends to happen then. Anyway, just before I went to bed, I asked Yoon mi to bring him out so I could rub his tummy. Normally, he won't let me get near his soft, fuzzy belly but this time he not only let me pet him, but he actually laid down and kicked his feet out showing how comfortable he is. Then, Yoon mi put him back in his room and we went to sleep.
In the morning, Yoon mi opened his room door and there he was, waiting right at the door. As soon as it opened he came running out straight to my mattress. He turned himself around and lay down right on my hand. This is the cutest thing I've ever seen him do. Normally, he will only come to you begrudgingly and only when he's ready. This time, he came STRAIGHT to me. So, I wasn't able to get up and take Yoon mi to work and go to the doctor because I had to massage my bunny's tummy. I can deal with that.
So, I was at home for quite sometime with nothing to do but lay invalid and watch Red Dwarf. Normally, this would be heaven but I've been doing the same thing all week. So, I was happy to have Rumor come out and stretch his legs for a bit. I sat in the computer chair so that he could feel free to run around and play. We have a mat on the floor that I've been sleeping on to ease my backpain. He LOVES this thing. Rumor will run from the spare bedroom into the living room, spring up into the air, do some twists then land on the pad, turn around and run into his room to then run back into the living room and do some more. I have a video of it, but like the ultrasound pics, I can't seem to get them loaded onto my computer in a way to let me upload it.
Anyway, he played around for about 30 minutes and then got too tired. I fed him and commenced watching Lister berate Rimmer while Cat modeled his new suit. When Yoon mi got home later, she tried to give Rumor a banana (his favorite noms). But he refused it. That's a sure sign that he has a sour stomache. Poor guy, this happens to him a couple times a year. I think it may have something to do with his shedding because it tends to happen then. Anyway, just before I went to bed, I asked Yoon mi to bring him out so I could rub his tummy. Normally, he won't let me get near his soft, fuzzy belly but this time he not only let me pet him, but he actually laid down and kicked his feet out showing how comfortable he is. Then, Yoon mi put him back in his room and we went to sleep.
In the morning, Yoon mi opened his room door and there he was, waiting right at the door. As soon as it opened he came running out straight to my mattress. He turned himself around and lay down right on my hand. This is the cutest thing I've ever seen him do. Normally, he will only come to you begrudgingly and only when he's ready. This time, he came STRAIGHT to me. So, I wasn't able to get up and take Yoon mi to work and go to the doctor because I had to massage my bunny's tummy. I can deal with that.
Best bathroom exit, ever!
So, sometime around the middle of September, Yoon mi started getting super tired, worn down, exhausted. She had been working from 9-7 Monday through Friday and from 9-5 on Saturdays.
Yoon mi often asks me, "so, do you want to have a baby, or not?" and my answer is always, "if you get pregnant, then yes, if you can't, then I'm ok. If it's meant to be, then so be it." I honestly meant that.
I've known couples who felt an absolute need to have a baby and they can't. This inability to reproduce causes a rift in their relationship and someone often blames the other, be it consciously or sub. When Yoon mi and I got married, I was fully aware that it is possible that she couldn't get pregnant. She was told previously that she wouldn't be able to, or that it would be extremely difficult and after two years of marriage, we didn't have any reason to believe the other doctors were wrong. We had made two life plans, one for if we had a baby and one for if we couldn't.
We had just started preparing our lives for the latter. This summer we took a rather expensive roadtrip all around the Pacific region of America, bought an expensive vacation package that will last the rest of our lives and we were about to start looking for a place to open a pharmacy and possibly a private English academy.
However, on September 26th, after I got home from swimming, Yoon mi was talking about how ill she was feeling and said, "what if I'm pregnant?" well, she's asked this a hundred times and I've answered it a hundred times the same way, "if you are, then you are. Do you think you are?" and she turned and went into the bathroom. She was in there for a short time and I went back to checking out my facebook page. The next thing I know, she opens the door, looks at me and says, "why did I make a joke?" I turned and looked at her and saw that she was holding something in her hand. Realization dawned on me like the morning sun warming the glaciers of Mt. Ranier in its pink and orange hues. I slid out of my chair, grabbed her around the waist and waltzed her around the room, the news working its way through us in our dance and bringing us even closer together. . .wait. No, that's wrong. Let me go back to after realization sunk in. I turned in my chair and looked at her and smoothly, romantically, idiotically said, "what?" So, she repeated herself and THEN realization dawned on me more like Egyptian sun at noon focused through a magnifying glass.
I can't remember exactly what was said, but I do know that I looked at the EPT and her and the EPT and her as my heart drum was beating the rhythm for flight of the bumblebee. The emotions that stormed through my body were more numerous than anything I can compare it too. The thoughts running through my brain that didn't make it out of my stammering lips consisted of things like, "what will we name it?" "should I call it, it?" "Where will we live?" "I thought this couldn't happen." "boy or girl?" "when did that happen?" "It's ok to call it, it, for now, it doesn't have a gender, yet." "My mum is really going to want us to move to the US, now." "I'm hungry." but what did come out of my mouth was, "Awesome!" It's funny how my brain was able to filter all the stupid stuff out and allow the one word that could best explain my feelings to escape unhindered.
Yoon mi asked me if I was happy and from that moment, I realized that what I had said earlier about not really caring if we had a baby were words from an inexperienced boy. How could I ever, EVER, not want to have a baby with this amazing woman? Of course I was happy, I was happier than I've ever been in my life. My wife is going to have our baby. I'm going to be a dad. I'm going to be the father of this human being who will depend on me like I depended on my father. I can only hope that I will be as good as he.
We went to the doctor and had an ultrasound the next day. It was mind-blowing to see this living creature inside my wife, even if it is only the size of a b.b.
Since then, I've become a semi-pro on diapers and baby furniture. My wife has had to completely change her daily routine of coffee in the morning, spicy food all day, possibly a beer in the evening. I've had to contemplate my future more than I've ever had to in the future.
We went to the doctor last Friday and for the first time, I could see my baby and actually recognize it as a human being. Amazingly, I could see its feet and hands. It touched its face and was moving quite a bit. I'm going to try to post the video on here. It's pretty long, but for me, it's priceless!
edit: unfortunately, the files on the disc are something I don't recognize and trying to figure it out in English is hard enough, but in Korean its impossible. sorry. take my word for it, its amazing!
Yoon mi often asks me, "so, do you want to have a baby, or not?" and my answer is always, "if you get pregnant, then yes, if you can't, then I'm ok. If it's meant to be, then so be it." I honestly meant that.
I've known couples who felt an absolute need to have a baby and they can't. This inability to reproduce causes a rift in their relationship and someone often blames the other, be it consciously or sub. When Yoon mi and I got married, I was fully aware that it is possible that she couldn't get pregnant. She was told previously that she wouldn't be able to, or that it would be extremely difficult and after two years of marriage, we didn't have any reason to believe the other doctors were wrong. We had made two life plans, one for if we had a baby and one for if we couldn't.
We had just started preparing our lives for the latter. This summer we took a rather expensive roadtrip all around the Pacific region of America, bought an expensive vacation package that will last the rest of our lives and we were about to start looking for a place to open a pharmacy and possibly a private English academy.
However, on September 26th, after I got home from swimming, Yoon mi was talking about how ill she was feeling and said, "what if I'm pregnant?" well, she's asked this a hundred times and I've answered it a hundred times the same way, "if you are, then you are. Do you think you are?" and she turned and went into the bathroom. She was in there for a short time and I went back to checking out my facebook page. The next thing I know, she opens the door, looks at me and says, "why did I make a joke?" I turned and looked at her and saw that she was holding something in her hand. Realization dawned on me like the morning sun warming the glaciers of Mt. Ranier in its pink and orange hues. I slid out of my chair, grabbed her around the waist and waltzed her around the room, the news working its way through us in our dance and bringing us even closer together. . .wait. No, that's wrong. Let me go back to after realization sunk in. I turned in my chair and looked at her and smoothly, romantically, idiotically said, "what?" So, she repeated herself and THEN realization dawned on me more like Egyptian sun at noon focused through a magnifying glass.
I can't remember exactly what was said, but I do know that I looked at the EPT and her and the EPT and her as my heart drum was beating the rhythm for flight of the bumblebee. The emotions that stormed through my body were more numerous than anything I can compare it too. The thoughts running through my brain that didn't make it out of my stammering lips consisted of things like, "what will we name it?" "should I call it, it?" "Where will we live?" "I thought this couldn't happen." "boy or girl?" "when did that happen?" "It's ok to call it, it, for now, it doesn't have a gender, yet." "My mum is really going to want us to move to the US, now." "I'm hungry." but what did come out of my mouth was, "Awesome!" It's funny how my brain was able to filter all the stupid stuff out and allow the one word that could best explain my feelings to escape unhindered.
Yoon mi asked me if I was happy and from that moment, I realized that what I had said earlier about not really caring if we had a baby were words from an inexperienced boy. How could I ever, EVER, not want to have a baby with this amazing woman? Of course I was happy, I was happier than I've ever been in my life. My wife is going to have our baby. I'm going to be a dad. I'm going to be the father of this human being who will depend on me like I depended on my father. I can only hope that I will be as good as he.
We went to the doctor and had an ultrasound the next day. It was mind-blowing to see this living creature inside my wife, even if it is only the size of a b.b.
Since then, I've become a semi-pro on diapers and baby furniture. My wife has had to completely change her daily routine of coffee in the morning, spicy food all day, possibly a beer in the evening. I've had to contemplate my future more than I've ever had to in the future.
We went to the doctor last Friday and for the first time, I could see my baby and actually recognize it as a human being. Amazingly, I could see its feet and hands. It touched its face and was moving quite a bit. I'm going to try to post the video on here. It's pretty long, but for me, it's priceless!
edit: unfortunately, the files on the disc are something I don't recognize and trying to figure it out in English is hard enough, but in Korean its impossible. sorry. take my word for it, its amazing!
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
16 needles
Yesterday, when I went in for my chuna treatment (rhymes with tuna) I seemed to have taken a few steps back. I couldn't lay on my back with my legs out straight. This is where I was last Saturday and I couldn't be more disappointed and frustrated. Monday and Tuesday were very promising. I was looking forward to being able to go back to work and go back to making dinners so my wife could rest a little. Anyway, the doctor discovered that I have a weak muscle in my lower back and that is why the chuna treatment wasn't working so well, instead of allowing the muscle to relax, he was stressing it too much. So, he decided to try a new therapy style.
I've been getting acupuncture all along, but today he put giant needles straight into my hip and butt. Right into the sore muscles. WOW! that is painful, but oddly relaxing at the same time. When I thought the worst was done, however, he took a lighter to the acupuncture needles and got them nice and hot, so the heat went straight down into my back. Anyway, I guess that's the new treatment, I get stuck like a pig, then roasted. . . awesome.
So, after he finished with the hot needles, I laid on my back and the doctor commenced sticking me in all the right points. If you don't understand how acupuncture works, its an interesting science. Our bodies have an energy that flows through us from head to toe. We are connected in several parts all over our bodies as you can see in any massage room if you look at the picture of the feet on the wall. Or you can look at this pic for the body points.
If your back hurts, there are different places in your feet and arms that are connected with that area. As the pain decreases, you need less needles. When I first started this treatment I had so many needles in my arms and legs I couldn't move an inch without bumping them on something.
However, this morning, when I woke up, I could actually stand up straight and walk around with my head up. This is the best I've felt in a long time. That lasted about 5 minutes before the crabs started snapping at my butt muscles again. Today, the doctor and the nurses were all happy when I walked in with bigger steps than I've had in 2 weeks. I was able to lay down with only minor discomfort. When it was time for the regular acupuncture treatment, he started poking me and each place he struck hurt. That's actually a good sign as it means he got the right spot. It hurts differently than just a little prick of a needle. You just know that its a good pain. When he was done poking me, I had 4 needles in each arm and 4 in each foot, mostly in my toes. So, I'm down to 16 needles. That pleases me.
Oh! After treatment today, I went to the sauna.
I'll have to write a post about the Korean sauna later, but the good news is, I got to weigh myself. I have been on a diet for one week. In one week, I have lost just over 5 kg. 5. For you American's out there, multiply that by 2.2 and that's how many pounds I've lost in a week while laid up and unable to exercise.
I've been getting acupuncture all along, but today he put giant needles straight into my hip and butt. Right into the sore muscles. WOW! that is painful, but oddly relaxing at the same time. When I thought the worst was done, however, he took a lighter to the acupuncture needles and got them nice and hot, so the heat went straight down into my back. Anyway, I guess that's the new treatment, I get stuck like a pig, then roasted. . . awesome.
So, after he finished with the hot needles, I laid on my back and the doctor commenced sticking me in all the right points. If you don't understand how acupuncture works, its an interesting science. Our bodies have an energy that flows through us from head to toe. We are connected in several parts all over our bodies as you can see in any massage room if you look at the picture of the feet on the wall. Or you can look at this pic for the body points.
If your back hurts, there are different places in your feet and arms that are connected with that area. As the pain decreases, you need less needles. When I first started this treatment I had so many needles in my arms and legs I couldn't move an inch without bumping them on something.
However, this morning, when I woke up, I could actually stand up straight and walk around with my head up. This is the best I've felt in a long time. That lasted about 5 minutes before the crabs started snapping at my butt muscles again. Today, the doctor and the nurses were all happy when I walked in with bigger steps than I've had in 2 weeks. I was able to lay down with only minor discomfort. When it was time for the regular acupuncture treatment, he started poking me and each place he struck hurt. That's actually a good sign as it means he got the right spot. It hurts differently than just a little prick of a needle. You just know that its a good pain. When he was done poking me, I had 4 needles in each arm and 4 in each foot, mostly in my toes. So, I'm down to 16 needles. That pleases me.
Oh! After treatment today, I went to the sauna.
I'll have to write a post about the Korean sauna later, but the good news is, I got to weigh myself. I have been on a diet for one week. In one week, I have lost just over 5 kg. 5. For you American's out there, multiply that by 2.2 and that's how many pounds I've lost in a week while laid up and unable to exercise.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
90 year old man
So, at some point during our summer vacation I tweaked my back. It was painful but I could deal with it. Sometimes it hurt worse and sometimes the pain was nearly gone. I explained where it hurt to my mum and she thought it sounded like I had a problem with my sciatic nerve. I tried stretching excercises and a massage, but nothing made it better.
For 2 months, I was trying to get rid of the pain myself but to no avail. Listening to my wife, I went to a doctor who took an X-ray. Well, no wonder my sciatic nerve wasn't easing up, it turns out I had a bulging disc between my 4th and 5th lumbar. My doctor told me I need to go to traction. That scared me. Traction is not something anyone wants to go through and I thought it was a bit extreme, but he's the doc and I figured he knows what he's talking about. He gave me a prescription and told me to go downstairs for therapy. When I get down the steps, I walk into a room with a bunch of cubbies with two narrow beds in each. To my immense relief, I discovered that traction in America and traction in Korea are two very different things. Apparently, here it just means they stick 4 suction cups on you and give you an electrical massage.
After 2 weeks of going, I realized that this wasn't working. All it did was make it feel better for about 30 minutes. One day I was complaining to my co-teacher about my back and he found a different style of therapy. This is a Korean therapy that combines oriental medicinal practices with a form of chiropracy and massage. That sounded great. So I went on a Friday afternoon.
When I get there, I discover that the doctor and the 3 nurses speak less English than I speak Korean. This can't be easy. Now, I know that I'm married to a Korean who is incredibly fluent in English, but I really hate to use her for this. After over 5 years in Korea, my Korean speaking fluency is embarassingly low. However, the doctor told me to call Yoon mi and he talks to her for about 5 minutes.
He wants to use bee venom as an anti-inflamatory. He will inject it into key areas and allow the venom to do its job in my lower back. While he does that, he will also provide acupuncture treatment and stretch and pull on my back. However, because I'm bigger than anyone he has ever seen, he can't be precise. His acupuncture needles won't be able to penetrate all the layers of fat to be able to get to the proper areas either. So, along with all the treatment, he also told me that I must lose weight. This is my first goal.
When I first moved to Korea, I was huge. I weighed in at roughly 145kg. After two years, I had dropped as low as 108kg. However, once I got comfortable and lazy, I gained quite a bit of that back. Its amazing at how easily one can gain weight without really noticing it until it seems like it is too late. So, when I started at this place, I weighed in at 130kg. yeah, I'm not too proud about that.
He created a drink for me that was made out of roots and berries I suppose. I have no idea what is in it but it cost $150 for 15 days worth of drink. I have to drink this drink 3 times a day one hour before meal time everyday. Luckily the drink doesn't taste bad, there isn't a whole lot of it and I actually kinda like it, even if it does make my pee smell like rabbit urine poured through a garden's compost heap.
As soon as I started this Chuna therapy, my symptoms got worse. Not just a little bit worse, but terribly worse. Before I started going, I could walk around, I went swimming everyday and I could help out around the house. However, after each session of Chuna, my hip started hurting more, my left leg began killing me and after one week, I couldn't stand up straight anymore. The day after my neice left Korea, I went back for therapy and after that session, I couldn't walk without bending over at nearly a 90 degree angle. I can't lay down without nearly crying.
On Friday I went to work and when it came time for me to go home, my co-teacher had to walk with me to be my support. I made it from my office to the main entrance in about 5 minutes (normally about 30 seconds) and had to stop and wait for the pain to decrease enough so that I could walk a little more. All this time, my students were milling around, trying to talk with me and I was trying my hardest to put on a game face, but it was hard.
Sunday, the doctor's office is closed so I went to the public bath and just soaked for a bit. Finally, it dawned on me to sleep with a heating pad on my hip. So, Sunday night I laid down on the floor mat, turned on the heating pad and tried to sleep. I think I slept for a total of 4 hours of intermittent sleep woken up every 30 minutes by the daggers running up and down my leg. On Monday morning, I woke up, called in to work, and when I stood up, I was actually able to stand up nearly straight! I was so happy I even told Yoon mi to look at me! I think she was less than impressed at her 34 year old husband being able to stand up on his own. . .
Its now Wednesday, my school has let me stay home all week to try to get this back problem solved and I can see little bits of improvements everyday. As much as this therapy has hurt me, I feel like it is actually getting to the root of the problem instead of treating the symptoms until it is so bad that I need to get surgery. I hate going to therapy everyday because when he starts the pulling and stretching it hurts super bad, but I know that its all getting better. I just hope it gets better sooner rather than later.
I think the worst thing about this isn't the debilitating pain. It's definitely the inability to help my wife. She goes to work everyday, then comes home and has to cook, clean, take care of the rabbits and by the time she's done with that, she has to take care of herself and go to bed. This is not the way to be a good husband but there is literally nothing I can do to help. I try to wash the dishes but right now I get halfway through and I have to take a break because I can't handle anymore. Yesterday, I made rice and washed the dishes from breakfast and lunch. That meant I poured rice into a bowl, washed it, put in more water and put it in the machine then washed 3 bowls and some chopsticks and spoons. That was the extent of what I could do around the house. I know my wife hates it. I just hope that she can deal with this a little bit longer. I know she will because she is amazing, but I still don't like to put her through all of this.
Oh, and I started the doctor's herbal medicine on Wednesday morning, as of Sunday I am down to 127 kg with no exercise but serious dieting. woot!
For 2 months, I was trying to get rid of the pain myself but to no avail. Listening to my wife, I went to a doctor who took an X-ray. Well, no wonder my sciatic nerve wasn't easing up, it turns out I had a bulging disc between my 4th and 5th lumbar. My doctor told me I need to go to traction. That scared me. Traction is not something anyone wants to go through and I thought it was a bit extreme, but he's the doc and I figured he knows what he's talking about. He gave me a prescription and told me to go downstairs for therapy. When I get down the steps, I walk into a room with a bunch of cubbies with two narrow beds in each. To my immense relief, I discovered that traction in America and traction in Korea are two very different things. Apparently, here it just means they stick 4 suction cups on you and give you an electrical massage.
After 2 weeks of going, I realized that this wasn't working. All it did was make it feel better for about 30 minutes. One day I was complaining to my co-teacher about my back and he found a different style of therapy. This is a Korean therapy that combines oriental medicinal practices with a form of chiropracy and massage. That sounded great. So I went on a Friday afternoon.
When I get there, I discover that the doctor and the 3 nurses speak less English than I speak Korean. This can't be easy. Now, I know that I'm married to a Korean who is incredibly fluent in English, but I really hate to use her for this. After over 5 years in Korea, my Korean speaking fluency is embarassingly low. However, the doctor told me to call Yoon mi and he talks to her for about 5 minutes.
He wants to use bee venom as an anti-inflamatory. He will inject it into key areas and allow the venom to do its job in my lower back. While he does that, he will also provide acupuncture treatment and stretch and pull on my back. However, because I'm bigger than anyone he has ever seen, he can't be precise. His acupuncture needles won't be able to penetrate all the layers of fat to be able to get to the proper areas either. So, along with all the treatment, he also told me that I must lose weight. This is my first goal.
When I first moved to Korea, I was huge. I weighed in at roughly 145kg. After two years, I had dropped as low as 108kg. However, once I got comfortable and lazy, I gained quite a bit of that back. Its amazing at how easily one can gain weight without really noticing it until it seems like it is too late. So, when I started at this place, I weighed in at 130kg. yeah, I'm not too proud about that.
He created a drink for me that was made out of roots and berries I suppose. I have no idea what is in it but it cost $150 for 15 days worth of drink. I have to drink this drink 3 times a day one hour before meal time everyday. Luckily the drink doesn't taste bad, there isn't a whole lot of it and I actually kinda like it, even if it does make my pee smell like rabbit urine poured through a garden's compost heap.
As soon as I started this Chuna therapy, my symptoms got worse. Not just a little bit worse, but terribly worse. Before I started going, I could walk around, I went swimming everyday and I could help out around the house. However, after each session of Chuna, my hip started hurting more, my left leg began killing me and after one week, I couldn't stand up straight anymore. The day after my neice left Korea, I went back for therapy and after that session, I couldn't walk without bending over at nearly a 90 degree angle. I can't lay down without nearly crying.
On Friday I went to work and when it came time for me to go home, my co-teacher had to walk with me to be my support. I made it from my office to the main entrance in about 5 minutes (normally about 30 seconds) and had to stop and wait for the pain to decrease enough so that I could walk a little more. All this time, my students were milling around, trying to talk with me and I was trying my hardest to put on a game face, but it was hard.
Sunday, the doctor's office is closed so I went to the public bath and just soaked for a bit. Finally, it dawned on me to sleep with a heating pad on my hip. So, Sunday night I laid down on the floor mat, turned on the heating pad and tried to sleep. I think I slept for a total of 4 hours of intermittent sleep woken up every 30 minutes by the daggers running up and down my leg. On Monday morning, I woke up, called in to work, and when I stood up, I was actually able to stand up nearly straight! I was so happy I even told Yoon mi to look at me! I think she was less than impressed at her 34 year old husband being able to stand up on his own. . .
Its now Wednesday, my school has let me stay home all week to try to get this back problem solved and I can see little bits of improvements everyday. As much as this therapy has hurt me, I feel like it is actually getting to the root of the problem instead of treating the symptoms until it is so bad that I need to get surgery. I hate going to therapy everyday because when he starts the pulling and stretching it hurts super bad, but I know that its all getting better. I just hope it gets better sooner rather than later.
I think the worst thing about this isn't the debilitating pain. It's definitely the inability to help my wife. She goes to work everyday, then comes home and has to cook, clean, take care of the rabbits and by the time she's done with that, she has to take care of herself and go to bed. This is not the way to be a good husband but there is literally nothing I can do to help. I try to wash the dishes but right now I get halfway through and I have to take a break because I can't handle anymore. Yesterday, I made rice and washed the dishes from breakfast and lunch. That meant I poured rice into a bowl, washed it, put in more water and put it in the machine then washed 3 bowls and some chopsticks and spoons. That was the extent of what I could do around the house. I know my wife hates it. I just hope that she can deal with this a little bit longer. I know she will because she is amazing, but I still don't like to put her through all of this.
Oh, and I started the doctor's herbal medicine on Wednesday morning, as of Sunday I am down to 127 kg with no exercise but serious dieting. woot!
a new beginning
Well, I've tried other blogs but I'm not a good fictional writer. I can't keep up with the stories at a pace that needs to be set to keep an audience. . . I also can't really make them that interesting. They tend to be a lot better in my head when they start, but I am not good at getting past the start. So, I've decided to look at my own life. For me, my life is pretty normal. I get up, I eat breakfast, I go to work, I come home from work, I talk with my wife, play with the pets and go to bed.
However, I realized that my life isn't like everyone else's. When I wake up, I'm lying on a matress on the floor. When I eat breakfast, I sometimes eat rice and soup and kimchi. When I go to work, I am one of two English speakers in a place with over 1000 people. I live in a country that has nearly 49 million people crammed into a landmass just a bit larger than Indiana. The woman I love more than anything I've ever loved before is not only of a different race, but a different native language and a completely different culture. My pets aren't dogs and cats but rabbits. My life is not normal. I have friends here in Korea that make it seem like my life is not that unusual, but when I look at everyone I've known through my life, I've had quite an interesting life.
The goal of this blog is to be my creative outlet as well as a way to communicate with everyone about what I've been doing. Its a way for me to express whats going on in my mind as my life's pages keep turning. I'm in the middle of a chapter now and I can't wait to get to the next one; but like so many books, I want to be able to read it again and again because its quite fun. However, no one is documenting my thoughts and actions. So, I guess that's up to me.
Periodically, I may insert entries from some of my fictional blogs so that I can keep that story progressing but at my own pace. I thrive on feedback, so please, follow and comment.
Thanks
Jamie
However, I realized that my life isn't like everyone else's. When I wake up, I'm lying on a matress on the floor. When I eat breakfast, I sometimes eat rice and soup and kimchi. When I go to work, I am one of two English speakers in a place with over 1000 people. I live in a country that has nearly 49 million people crammed into a landmass just a bit larger than Indiana. The woman I love more than anything I've ever loved before is not only of a different race, but a different native language and a completely different culture. My pets aren't dogs and cats but rabbits. My life is not normal. I have friends here in Korea that make it seem like my life is not that unusual, but when I look at everyone I've known through my life, I've had quite an interesting life.
The goal of this blog is to be my creative outlet as well as a way to communicate with everyone about what I've been doing. Its a way for me to express whats going on in my mind as my life's pages keep turning. I'm in the middle of a chapter now and I can't wait to get to the next one; but like so many books, I want to be able to read it again and again because its quite fun. However, no one is documenting my thoughts and actions. So, I guess that's up to me.
Periodically, I may insert entries from some of my fictional blogs so that I can keep that story progressing but at my own pace. I thrive on feedback, so please, follow and comment.
Thanks
Jamie
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)