Thoughts on Death

One week after I found out that I was to have a son named Cameron and one week after my brother-in-law graduated with his Ph.D, I got a text message from my mother. "Just got a phone call from Robert [my aunt's estranged husband]. Cameron was killed last night in a car accident." This came at 1:13am. My wife was in Seoul because of a concert and was visiting at her friend's house. I was at a club with a few of my friends here. What kind of text can you send back to that. My mother's only sibling's only son was dead. While I was reading that, I had some random Korean guys trying to be my friend, talking in my ear, trying to get me to buy him a beer. . . yeah, I know it seems like he was hitting on me, but he wasn't. . . it's a cultural thing. I didn't know how to respond. All I could write back was "oh my god." I got a text immediately after asking if I was awake, and when I replied in the affirmative, I got a phone call. Excusing myself from the bar, I stepped out into the entryway and talked with my mum. The details were still unclear but I did find out that my aunt was on a cruise in Aruba with her ex-husband (my cousin's father) and his new wife while she was trying to renew herself after some recent personal turmoil. Nobody could get her on the phone. She still didn't know. A week before Christmas, on the day of my cousin's wife's birthday, her only son drove in front of a logging truck with no seatbelt on and she had no idea. His widow is now a lone provider for 2 children ages 9 and 3. My heart is breaking for his family and the absolute crushing blow that my aunt felt when she first heard the news. The feelings that she must be dealing with as she boards the plane and flies all the way back to Vancouver, B.C. must be completely overwhelming. He was born much earlier than me so age and distance never allowed us to be tight, but he was still my cousin and I loved him. The last time I saw him was at my wedding. I had two cousins make it to my wedding. 2 out of 5 and he was one of them.

Shortly after that, I found out that the peace-loving leader of the Velvet Revolution, Vaclav Havel passed away. This man was able to see a different method of dealing with anger. He saw through ire and instead of instigating riots and aggressive protests managed to liberate Czechoslovakia from the Soviet Union. It was a peaceful rally held for a month that won the Czech's their freedom. Vaclav Havel was a tremendous politician that really knew his people and their desires. The world lost a positive influential leader.

And today at lunch, North Korea released the news that their dictator and "dear-leader" died on a train from a heart attack. My first thought was "what is the North's next move? Are they going to put on an aggressive face and strike out so that Kim Jeong-un can prove his worth to the politicians who guided his father?" By the time I got back to my desk, many of my friends had already posted the news and some had posted articles and ideas of what was next. I don't think S. Korea will ever have to deal with a nuclear attack from N. Korea, however, there is always the possibility of another skirmish. I'm not worried about it because N. Korea is so heavily monitored that at the first sign of a build up of troops, we'll know. But the death of this enigma that ruled an entire country into poverty and starvation will definitely affect more than just the peninsula. The world lost a very negative influential leader. But did it just gain a new one in his son? We'll see.

I know that death is a part of life. I know that death will come for each and every one of us. I know there were things that could have been done to prevent my cousin's untimely demise. Too many times I've heard condolences and reasonings, but I just keep thinking about my aunt and how strong she is but I also wonder how strong does someone have to be to withstand the loss of her only son. I mourn for my cousin and I mourn for my aunt. I mourn for my cousin's wife and I mourn for her children. This Christmas, recognize your family and friends. Recognize the love that you share. Recognize how blessed each of us are to have the people we do, in our lives. I've always thought that loving everyone as much as we can is a much better way to live than by being annoyed, judgmental or critical. I don't always live up to that thought, but I try and I hope that you all do, too.

I love you,

Jamie