Thoughts on Death

One week after I found out that I was to have a son named Cameron and one week after my brother-in-law graduated with his Ph.D, I got a text message from my mother. "Just got a phone call from Robert [my aunt's estranged husband]. Cameron was killed last night in a car accident." This came at 1:13am. My wife was in Seoul because of a concert and was visiting at her friend's house. I was at a club with a few of my friends here. What kind of text can you send back to that. My mother's only sibling's only son was dead. While I was reading that, I had some random Korean guys trying to be my friend, talking in my ear, trying to get me to buy him a beer. . . yeah, I know it seems like he was hitting on me, but he wasn't. . . it's a cultural thing. I didn't know how to respond. All I could write back was "oh my god." I got a text immediately after asking if I was awake, and when I replied in the affirmative, I got a phone call. Excusing myself from the bar, I stepped out into the entryway and talked with my mum. The details were still unclear but I did find out that my aunt was on a cruise in Aruba with her ex-husband (my cousin's father) and his new wife while she was trying to renew herself after some recent personal turmoil. Nobody could get her on the phone. She still didn't know. A week before Christmas, on the day of my cousin's wife's birthday, her only son drove in front of a logging truck with no seatbelt on and she had no idea. His widow is now a lone provider for 2 children ages 9 and 3. My heart is breaking for his family and the absolute crushing blow that my aunt felt when she first heard the news. The feelings that she must be dealing with as she boards the plane and flies all the way back to Vancouver, B.C. must be completely overwhelming. He was born much earlier than me so age and distance never allowed us to be tight, but he was still my cousin and I loved him. The last time I saw him was at my wedding. I had two cousins make it to my wedding. 2 out of 5 and he was one of them.

Shortly after that, I found out that the peace-loving leader of the Velvet Revolution, Vaclav Havel passed away. This man was able to see a different method of dealing with anger. He saw through ire and instead of instigating riots and aggressive protests managed to liberate Czechoslovakia from the Soviet Union. It was a peaceful rally held for a month that won the Czech's their freedom. Vaclav Havel was a tremendous politician that really knew his people and their desires. The world lost a positive influential leader.

And today at lunch, North Korea released the news that their dictator and "dear-leader" died on a train from a heart attack. My first thought was "what is the North's next move? Are they going to put on an aggressive face and strike out so that Kim Jeong-un can prove his worth to the politicians who guided his father?" By the time I got back to my desk, many of my friends had already posted the news and some had posted articles and ideas of what was next. I don't think S. Korea will ever have to deal with a nuclear attack from N. Korea, however, there is always the possibility of another skirmish. I'm not worried about it because N. Korea is so heavily monitored that at the first sign of a build up of troops, we'll know. But the death of this enigma that ruled an entire country into poverty and starvation will definitely affect more than just the peninsula. The world lost a very negative influential leader. But did it just gain a new one in his son? We'll see.

I know that death is a part of life. I know that death will come for each and every one of us. I know there were things that could have been done to prevent my cousin's untimely demise. Too many times I've heard condolences and reasonings, but I just keep thinking about my aunt and how strong she is but I also wonder how strong does someone have to be to withstand the loss of her only son. I mourn for my cousin and I mourn for my aunt. I mourn for my cousin's wife and I mourn for her children. This Christmas, recognize your family and friends. Recognize the love that you share. Recognize how blessed each of us are to have the people we do, in our lives. I've always thought that loving everyone as much as we can is a much better way to live than by being annoyed, judgmental or critical. I don't always live up to that thought, but I try and I hope that you all do, too.

I love you,

Jamie

Update

Alright, so life has been going on and I've shied away from just the routine updates of whats going on in my life. So, I'll just kinda lump it all into one entry here.

Yoonmi is progressing beautifully in her pregnancy and her tummy is expanding. Tonight she told me she needs to buy some maternity underwear, ^^. That's awesome!

Also, I've stopped going to the chuna therapy. I went everyday for over 3 weeks and I just felt terrible. Everyday, I'd wake up feeling a little better, but by 9 or 10 I was hunched over like a 90 year old man again. I couldn't stand up straight and when I went into the doctor's clinic, he would have me lay flat on my back or stomach and the pain was so intense, I would start sweating from the effort of holding the pain in check. A couple times sweat mixed with some tears because it hurt so bad. On Tuesdays and Wednesdays I go to an elementary school and teach for 4 hours straight with no break. Even with painkillers it was hard, but with acupuncture, you aren't supposed to have painkillers. So, it was that after finishing my first full Tuesday back at the elementary school that I couldn't face the idea of going back there and putting myself through even more needles and pain. I didn't go and haven't gone since. About 24 hours after I stopped going, I realized that I was feeling better. 48 hours later I was standing straight up again. 1 week later, I could sleep in a bed again and actually walk upright, albeit more of a shuffle, for the full day. So, I've been going to the sauna, alternating in hot tubs and cold baths and hot rooms for about an hour and a half 3-5 times a week. Now, I can sit at my desk for more than 30 minutes and still be able to stand up straight the rest of the day. This may not seem like very much to you, but I'll tell you what, I can now wash the dishes and help take care of the rabbits and my wife knows how great it is. I'm still not back to healthy and I know my spine is still a little out of wack, but after losing 8 kg (17.6 lbs) Its getting better!

We've decorated our house for Christmas with the few decorations we have (more now this year since I brought some back from the States) and we are starting to feel a bit of the Christmas spirit. Today was the first day of snow for us. There has been snow in the mountains and a few of the cities around us, but today we were let out of work 30 minutes early because the snow was about to fall and we're supposed to get around 30cm (11.8 inches) so they wanted us to get home safely ^^ I walked home, all 200 meters.

I still can't wait for this weekend and Saturday just can't seem to get here fast enough, but at least tomorrow night, I have a distraction. A free opera is coming to town and I'm taking Yoon Mi to see Carmen at 7pm. Its a professional gig, but the city paid them well enough to open it up to the public for free. I've seen Carmen before, but it has been a long time. It'll be interesting to see how a Korean woman can play a well endowed, volumptuous harlet.