It's approaching the end of the year, nearly every radio station manager has forced their top DJs to compile their lists of 2011's top songs, the news stations have compiled and aired their best and worst moments of the year and everyone is trying to come up with their new year's resolutions. And I find myself looking at the new year as possibly being the last year in human existence.
I don't really believe in the supernatural, I don't believe that there are outside entities watching or controlling our lives. I don't believe that there is anything that has shaped our existence except for the ever powerful forces of nature. However, I still find myself looking at the Mayan Long Count calendar and how people have assigned the end of our world to the end of this calendar designed by a civilization hundreds of years virtually extinct.
The Mayan calendar appears to end on our standard calendar on December 21, 2012. Movies, books and word of mouth have turned this date into a fearsome time. I put as much stock in this theory as I do in the idea that four horsemen are going to find four corners on a sphere and wreak havoc on the entire population through magic. The Mayans were very in tune with the cosmos and were able to figure out some complicated principles with rudimentary knowledge and tools and decided to make their own life easier by forecasting the future stages of the moon and sun and stars. Why did they end it when they did? I generally think that their scholars felt that they went far enough into the future that they didn't need to continue. It was far enough in advance for them that if they were wrong, they would be long dead. It was far enough in advance that the people around them didn't have to worry but it gave a sense of impending doom which is always useful in controlling the masses.
In the 1950's before computers and such, if the American government decided to make a calendar, they would've planned it far enough in advance that they could plan their future goals and know with precision when they planned on finishing their projects. Whatever random day they decided to stop counting, would we consider it the end of the world? Probably not, the American government, although sneaky and conniving is far from mysterious, unlike the Mayans.
So, as we look at the upcoming 2012, I look at December 22 as the day that comes after the 21st. But there is still a little sense of mystery in it. It will be interesting to see the hype that gets built up over the next 350 days and how the world deals with it.
Those of you in the States, if you are really concerned when you wake up on the 21st, just look on facebook or on here and I'll confirm to you that it passed without any problems since it will already be the 22nd for me.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Thursday, December 29, 2011
44 years
Tomorrow is my parents' anniversary. They have been together 10 years longer than I've been alive and that is amazing to me.
The sum of my world although influenced and impacted from events throughout history is only 34 years. It is virtually impossible for me to fully understand the commitment it must take to accomplish anything at all over a 44 year span. I can fathom it, I can grasp the idea of it, but not having done anything except managing to keep breathing for only 34 years, I cannot completely understand it.
My parents were young when they got married. Mum, I'm sorry, but I'm informing the whole known world (well, the 20 people who actually read this) of your age. My mum was only 20 years 6 months old when she said I do. My dad, 3 years her senior was graduated from university and a fresh made officer in the US army. He was being whisked off to Korea to serve here instead of in Vietnam and my mum wanted to join him, so they married.
What started as a fairly rushed relationship was cemented into a tight bond as they both struggled to survive in a post-civil war Korea. This country, well-developed now, was deep in the grips of poverty. No one knew English but they appreciated the US presence. And my parents had no idea what Korea was like before landing. This culture shock pushed them together to rely on each other and keep each other happy. It helped them discover who they really were and it is because of this that they were able to weather the coming storms.
My dad is a good, solid man. He is upright in his morals, deeply spiritual even if he doesn't strictly conform to standard religion, and honest. However, he is not perfect.
My mum is a beautiful, caring woman. She is deeply empathetic, understanding, patient and also deeply spiritual. Her honesty matches my fathers. However, she also is not perfect.
Growing up in the midwest in a lower class family, my father learned that men work hard for their families. They provide food and shelter for them. Men are the steadfast leaders of the family and they do not show their emotions because it is their place to be the strong ones. Men never hit women, never cheat on their wives, do not allow themselves to succumb to the base vices of alcohol or drugs. He also learned that women are supposed to nurture and care for the family, to cook the food that the men provide, to keep the children healthy and educated. And to listen to her husband for direction.
My mother grew up in a very strict family. She learned that women are supposed to be proper at all times. Appearances are essential and that one may have a problem, but she must never show it. She learned that she must always look up to other people because she will never be able to achieve greatness in herself.
My father's informal education led him to be the man he is today. It allowed him no other options than being a devout husband and father. He never strayed from his family and he never mislead. My mother's homeschooling led her to be a very sensitive and attentive of others. She never once made me feel unloved or even that her love for me ever wavered, even when I hurt her.
However, my dad's upbringing led him to more chauvinistic behavior and my mothers insecurities kept her from understanding her greatness. When I was young, they needed some time apart to help re-focus their love and to work on the issues that were wedging them apart. My dad took my two older brothers and moved to his own place about 10 minutes away. My sister and I stayed with my mother because we were too young and my mother needed us with her. It only took about 3 months for my parents to realize the love they still had for each other and that the issues they had with themselves could be worked out. My father stopped taking my mother for granted and began helping more around the house while my mother started understanding that she lived in no one's shadow.
After my father moved back in, their life together began anew. The father that I grew up with was not the man I described above. He was the man I know now and whom I hope to become. My mother is no longer the insecure child but now acknowledges her importance. The relationship that they have now is one of mutual understanding, respect, and love. I don't often get to see them together, but when I do, the love they have for each other emanates from them in waves that make their house a haven for me. They help each other in all things. My mum still cooks dinner for my dad and has it ready for him when he gets home, but that's because he's been at work and she's been at home. If my mum is busy, my dad doesn't mind making his own dinner and when he doesn't work, he has been known to whip up a batch of his famous spaghetti.
My parents have figured out how to make their relationship work, and not just work but bloom. What started out as a seed hastily planted has taken root and with a few twists has grown into a beautiful shade tree that provides all of us with it's beauty. Their roots are deep and firmly rooted while the kinks of their past have made the outline of their tree a more pleasant sight.
Because my parents have had trouble, worked through it, and grown together more solidly they have shown me and others how to make things work even when it is hard. My parents have been together for 44 years. It couldn't be easy all the time but the hard work has definitely paid off and now they love each other with the fierceness that comes from spending nearly all of their lives together, experiencing the same things and relying and supporting each other through thick and thin.
I do not believe that every marriage should last forever. Having entered into a nuptial contract before, I know that people sometimes make mistakes and really, really stupid decisions. However, some people were meant to be together and my parents are definitely in that category. Mum and Dad, thank you for working through everything. Dad, thank you for showing me what it is to be a good husband. Mum, thank you for showing me what Maya Angelou always tried to write. How a woman can still be nurturing and caring and take care of the family, but still possess her own spirit and power. To the two of you, I am appreciative of providing stability and direction in a world that doesn't always make that easy.
I love you guys, and Happy Anniversary.
The sum of my world although influenced and impacted from events throughout history is only 34 years. It is virtually impossible for me to fully understand the commitment it must take to accomplish anything at all over a 44 year span. I can fathom it, I can grasp the idea of it, but not having done anything except managing to keep breathing for only 34 years, I cannot completely understand it.
My parents were young when they got married. Mum, I'm sorry, but I'm informing the whole known world (well, the 20 people who actually read this) of your age. My mum was only 20 years 6 months old when she said I do. My dad, 3 years her senior was graduated from university and a fresh made officer in the US army. He was being whisked off to Korea to serve here instead of in Vietnam and my mum wanted to join him, so they married.
What started as a fairly rushed relationship was cemented into a tight bond as they both struggled to survive in a post-civil war Korea. This country, well-developed now, was deep in the grips of poverty. No one knew English but they appreciated the US presence. And my parents had no idea what Korea was like before landing. This culture shock pushed them together to rely on each other and keep each other happy. It helped them discover who they really were and it is because of this that they were able to weather the coming storms.
My dad is a good, solid man. He is upright in his morals, deeply spiritual even if he doesn't strictly conform to standard religion, and honest. However, he is not perfect.
My mum is a beautiful, caring woman. She is deeply empathetic, understanding, patient and also deeply spiritual. Her honesty matches my fathers. However, she also is not perfect.
Growing up in the midwest in a lower class family, my father learned that men work hard for their families. They provide food and shelter for them. Men are the steadfast leaders of the family and they do not show their emotions because it is their place to be the strong ones. Men never hit women, never cheat on their wives, do not allow themselves to succumb to the base vices of alcohol or drugs. He also learned that women are supposed to nurture and care for the family, to cook the food that the men provide, to keep the children healthy and educated. And to listen to her husband for direction.
My mother grew up in a very strict family. She learned that women are supposed to be proper at all times. Appearances are essential and that one may have a problem, but she must never show it. She learned that she must always look up to other people because she will never be able to achieve greatness in herself.
My father's informal education led him to be the man he is today. It allowed him no other options than being a devout husband and father. He never strayed from his family and he never mislead. My mother's homeschooling led her to be a very sensitive and attentive of others. She never once made me feel unloved or even that her love for me ever wavered, even when I hurt her.
However, my dad's upbringing led him to more chauvinistic behavior and my mothers insecurities kept her from understanding her greatness. When I was young, they needed some time apart to help re-focus their love and to work on the issues that were wedging them apart. My dad took my two older brothers and moved to his own place about 10 minutes away. My sister and I stayed with my mother because we were too young and my mother needed us with her. It only took about 3 months for my parents to realize the love they still had for each other and that the issues they had with themselves could be worked out. My father stopped taking my mother for granted and began helping more around the house while my mother started understanding that she lived in no one's shadow.
After my father moved back in, their life together began anew. The father that I grew up with was not the man I described above. He was the man I know now and whom I hope to become. My mother is no longer the insecure child but now acknowledges her importance. The relationship that they have now is one of mutual understanding, respect, and love. I don't often get to see them together, but when I do, the love they have for each other emanates from them in waves that make their house a haven for me. They help each other in all things. My mum still cooks dinner for my dad and has it ready for him when he gets home, but that's because he's been at work and she's been at home. If my mum is busy, my dad doesn't mind making his own dinner and when he doesn't work, he has been known to whip up a batch of his famous spaghetti.
My parents have figured out how to make their relationship work, and not just work but bloom. What started out as a seed hastily planted has taken root and with a few twists has grown into a beautiful shade tree that provides all of us with it's beauty. Their roots are deep and firmly rooted while the kinks of their past have made the outline of their tree a more pleasant sight.
Because my parents have had trouble, worked through it, and grown together more solidly they have shown me and others how to make things work even when it is hard. My parents have been together for 44 years. It couldn't be easy all the time but the hard work has definitely paid off and now they love each other with the fierceness that comes from spending nearly all of their lives together, experiencing the same things and relying and supporting each other through thick and thin.
I do not believe that every marriage should last forever. Having entered into a nuptial contract before, I know that people sometimes make mistakes and really, really stupid decisions. However, some people were meant to be together and my parents are definitely in that category. Mum and Dad, thank you for working through everything. Dad, thank you for showing me what it is to be a good husband. Mum, thank you for showing me what Maya Angelou always tried to write. How a woman can still be nurturing and caring and take care of the family, but still possess her own spirit and power. To the two of you, I am appreciative of providing stability and direction in a world that doesn't always make that easy.
I love you guys, and Happy Anniversary.
Monday, December 19, 2011
Thoughts on Death
One week after I found out that I was to have a son named Cameron and one week after my brother-in-law graduated with his Ph.D, I got a text message from my mother. "Just got a phone call from Robert [my aunt's estranged husband]. Cameron was killed last night in a car accident." This came at 1:13am. My wife was in Seoul because of a concert and was visiting at her friend's house. I was at a club with a few of my friends here. What kind of text can you send back to that. My mother's only sibling's only son was dead. While I was reading that, I had some random Korean guys trying to be my friend, talking in my ear, trying to get me to buy him a beer. . . yeah, I know it seems like he was hitting on me, but he wasn't. . . it's a cultural thing. I didn't know how to respond. All I could write back was "oh my god." I got a text immediately after asking if I was awake, and when I replied in the affirmative, I got a phone call. Excusing myself from the bar, I stepped out into the entryway and talked with my mum. The details were still unclear but I did find out that my aunt was on a cruise in Aruba with her ex-husband (my cousin's father) and his new wife while she was trying to renew herself after some recent personal turmoil. Nobody could get her on the phone. She still didn't know. A week before Christmas, on the day of my cousin's wife's birthday, her only son drove in front of a logging truck with no seatbelt on and she had no idea. His widow is now a lone provider for 2 children ages 9 and 3. My heart is breaking for his family and the absolute crushing blow that my aunt felt when she first heard the news. The feelings that she must be dealing with as she boards the plane and flies all the way back to Vancouver, B.C. must be completely overwhelming. He was born much earlier than me so age and distance never allowed us to be tight, but he was still my cousin and I loved him. The last time I saw him was at my wedding. I had two cousins make it to my wedding. 2 out of 5 and he was one of them.
Shortly after that, I found out that the peace-loving leader of the Velvet Revolution, Vaclav Havel passed away. This man was able to see a different method of dealing with anger. He saw through ire and instead of instigating riots and aggressive protests managed to liberate Czechoslovakia from the Soviet Union. It was a peaceful rally held for a month that won the Czech's their freedom. Vaclav Havel was a tremendous politician that really knew his people and their desires. The world lost a positive influential leader.
And today at lunch, North Korea released the news that their dictator and "dear-leader" died on a train from a heart attack. My first thought was "what is the North's next move? Are they going to put on an aggressive face and strike out so that Kim Jeong-un can prove his worth to the politicians who guided his father?" By the time I got back to my desk, many of my friends had already posted the news and some had posted articles and ideas of what was next. I don't think S. Korea will ever have to deal with a nuclear attack from N. Korea, however, there is always the possibility of another skirmish. I'm not worried about it because N. Korea is so heavily monitored that at the first sign of a build up of troops, we'll know. But the death of this enigma that ruled an entire country into poverty and starvation will definitely affect more than just the peninsula. The world lost a very negative influential leader. But did it just gain a new one in his son? We'll see.
I know that death is a part of life. I know that death will come for each and every one of us. I know there were things that could have been done to prevent my cousin's untimely demise. Too many times I've heard condolences and reasonings, but I just keep thinking about my aunt and how strong she is but I also wonder how strong does someone have to be to withstand the loss of her only son. I mourn for my cousin and I mourn for my aunt. I mourn for my cousin's wife and I mourn for her children. This Christmas, recognize your family and friends. Recognize the love that you share. Recognize how blessed each of us are to have the people we do, in our lives. I've always thought that loving everyone as much as we can is a much better way to live than by being annoyed, judgmental or critical. I don't always live up to that thought, but I try and I hope that you all do, too.
I love you,
Jamie
Shortly after that, I found out that the peace-loving leader of the Velvet Revolution, Vaclav Havel passed away. This man was able to see a different method of dealing with anger. He saw through ire and instead of instigating riots and aggressive protests managed to liberate Czechoslovakia from the Soviet Union. It was a peaceful rally held for a month that won the Czech's their freedom. Vaclav Havel was a tremendous politician that really knew his people and their desires. The world lost a positive influential leader.
And today at lunch, North Korea released the news that their dictator and "dear-leader" died on a train from a heart attack. My first thought was "what is the North's next move? Are they going to put on an aggressive face and strike out so that Kim Jeong-un can prove his worth to the politicians who guided his father?" By the time I got back to my desk, many of my friends had already posted the news and some had posted articles and ideas of what was next. I don't think S. Korea will ever have to deal with a nuclear attack from N. Korea, however, there is always the possibility of another skirmish. I'm not worried about it because N. Korea is so heavily monitored that at the first sign of a build up of troops, we'll know. But the death of this enigma that ruled an entire country into poverty and starvation will definitely affect more than just the peninsula. The world lost a very negative influential leader. But did it just gain a new one in his son? We'll see.
I know that death is a part of life. I know that death will come for each and every one of us. I know there were things that could have been done to prevent my cousin's untimely demise. Too many times I've heard condolences and reasonings, but I just keep thinking about my aunt and how strong she is but I also wonder how strong does someone have to be to withstand the loss of her only son. I mourn for my cousin and I mourn for my aunt. I mourn for my cousin's wife and I mourn for her children. This Christmas, recognize your family and friends. Recognize the love that you share. Recognize how blessed each of us are to have the people we do, in our lives. I've always thought that loving everyone as much as we can is a much better way to live than by being annoyed, judgmental or critical. I don't always live up to that thought, but I try and I hope that you all do, too.
I love you,
Jamie
Friday, December 16, 2011
I need some help
If anyone is artistic in the slightest way, I want to take the poem I wrote in To my son. . . and turn it into something beautiful that I can give my son for him to have forever. Is anyone able to help me out? I am open to any form of art, be it beautifully handwritten or caligraphy. Some sort of digital media or a painting. Anything at all would be nice and greatly appreciated.
Furthermore, You can now see ads on the side and bottom of my blog. If you would just take a glance over there and if you see anything you like, please just click on the ad. . . my baby needs a new . ..er first pair of shoes! Go ahead, I'll wait. . .
are you back? great. Now, if you don't mind, have another look. They change every time you check this page so take a gander over there and down below every time you wander in here. Go ahead, you're done reading this entry, so it won't hurt to take a peek at the services provided to the side.
Furthermore, You can now see ads on the side and bottom of my blog. If you would just take a glance over there and if you see anything you like, please just click on the ad. . . my baby needs a new . ..er first pair of shoes! Go ahead, I'll wait. . .
are you back? great. Now, if you don't mind, have another look. They change every time you check this page so take a gander over there and down below every time you wander in here. Go ahead, you're done reading this entry, so it won't hurt to take a peek at the services provided to the side.
To my son on your name day
I give you the name of my mother. Devotion, Love and Honesty.
These come from her, through me, into you.
You walk with Cameron as your first name.
When you first meet someone, you will say, "My name is Cameron."
What they will hear is, "My name is Devotion, Love, and Honesty."
Your mother gives you the name of her mind. Triumph, Victory.
From her, into you.
You walk with Seung Lee as your middle name, hidden but ever-present.
As you go through life, overcome all of your obstacles. Triumph over hardships.
Determine your goals and find victory in everything.
From my blood you own our family name. Dedication, Morality and Integrity.
These come from my father, through me and into you.
You walk with Hougham following you wherever you go.
Wherever you tread always leave behind the evidence of your dedication.
When you walk past others, let them turn and watch you, staring at a moral man.
Let others look up to you and see that your integrity cannot falter.
You are Cameron Seung Lee Hougham. Heart, Mind and Soul.
From your past into your future.
Walk with a strong heart and others will follow.
Lead with a clear mind and you will not fail.
Act with a clean soul and others will see and believe.
You are Cameron 승리 Hougham
These come from her, through me, into you.
You walk with Cameron as your first name.
When you first meet someone, you will say, "My name is Cameron."
What they will hear is, "My name is Devotion, Love, and Honesty."
Your mother gives you the name of her mind. Triumph, Victory.
From her, into you.
You walk with Seung Lee as your middle name, hidden but ever-present.
As you go through life, overcome all of your obstacles. Triumph over hardships.
Determine your goals and find victory in everything.
From my blood you own our family name. Dedication, Morality and Integrity.
These come from my father, through me and into you.
You walk with Hougham following you wherever you go.
Wherever you tread always leave behind the evidence of your dedication.
When you walk past others, let them turn and watch you, staring at a moral man.
Let others look up to you and see that your integrity cannot falter.
You are Cameron Seung Lee Hougham. Heart, Mind and Soul.
From your past into your future.
Walk with a strong heart and others will follow.
Lead with a clear mind and you will not fail.
Act with a clean soul and others will see and believe.
You are Cameron 승리 Hougham
Monday, December 12, 2011
Just another Saturday?
Every once in a while a span of 24 hours comes along that you want to hold onto. You want to keep it as fresh in your memory as the lettuce in your crisper drawer. Pictures work well, but they aren't the same thing as the actual 24 hours and when your camera battery dies, as well as your spare. . .well, memory needs to serve. Unfortunately, my memory works about as well as my old tonka trucks, sure it works, but it is rusty and parts fall off all the time. Therefore, I want to write it all down here so when I'm 80 years old, sitting in my hover rocker, I can download it straight into my brain and retell it to my grandkids for the 50th time.
I've already written about waking up on Saturday morning, and even though that was the biggest event, there was so much more.
Saturday, after I found out that I was going to have a son, I walked out of the doctor's room and realized that I really had to go to the bathroom. Yoon mi had to do a blood test so I was alone. My mind was reeling. I was trying to process what I had just heard, trying to figure out the best way to tell my parents and sister, and trying to find the bathroom. Luckily, I knew it was down the only hallway in the office. So, I walked in, found the toilet and just as I started, I realized that there were no urinals in this bathroom. I was in the woman's bathroom. Well, I had already started and this is Korea where it is common to find a urinal right by the door to the woman's stall so instead of pinching it off, I decided the best course of action would be to finish what I came in to do and quietly, yet confidently leave the bathroom. Luckily, when I was done, there was no one in the bathroom and no one in the hall; phew, crisis averted.
I called my family, but I was still in the doctor's office so I had to speak quietly and I couldn't get as excited as I wanted to be. Having to use the elevator to get down to the basement car garage, I had to get off the phone early, too. After leaving the doctor, we went to the local chain mega-store, similar to America's Wal-shop, ours drops the Wal and replaces it with an E. Anyway, while we were there, Yoon mi was diligently finding all the sample places and "seeing if we wanted to buy it." We didn't. Yoon mi was famished having been super busy at work and not having time to eat lunch. There were several things we needed to buy while we were there, but with both of us thinking about other things, we forgot about 90% of what we were supposed to buy and ended up buying a bunch of stuff we didn't need.
We went to a coffee/tea shop where we diligently changed our facebook status' and sent out some text messages with our news. Later, Yoon mi was tired so she went home and I set out for another ex-pat's birthday dinner. Gary is turning 38 or 47 I can't tell. He sorta looks like Vezzini from The Princess Bride. Anyway, he had his birthday party at a Korean beef restaurant where we all had to sit on the floor and cook our own meat. Now, don't get me wrong, I love cooking my own tender, juicy bits of beautifully marbled steak, I just absolutely hate doing it while sitting on the floor. This was the first time I've had red meat in . . . a long time. So, it was fantastic! After dinner, we decided to hit up the only bar in town that has a decent beer on tap. Now, with me trying to lose weight, I know very well that steak and beer are 2 things I should definitely not be consuming, but it was his birthday, what could I do? I had a beer. While at the bar, I was reminded that two other ex-pats, married, just finished their first semester of Master's and Bachelor's studies. So, we had a celebration that night of Gary's birthday, Amanda kicking ass in her Master's studies, and Bob with his Bachelor's work. But at least for me, the biggest celebration for my son.
By the time I left the bar, the Earth had just begun to cross between the sun and the moon, like a hiker between the mother and cub. However, instead of getting mauled, the hiker cast it's shadow on the cub slowly turning it a dark, burnt orange color. Eventually, as the moon became fully eclipsed, it darkened; an orb of blood dried for a week, lying on a black velvet sheet. I drove home and ran inside to get Yoon mi to come out and look up with me. It was freezing cold with a slight wind kissing my right ear, but I couldn't go inside. I had to watch this amazing eclipse unfolding in front of me. I went back in and grabbed my camera, ran out to the car to grab my tripod (yeah, I don't know why I keep them in two different places either) and set it all up. Just as I snapped off a couple pics, the battery died. Running back into the house to get my spare battery, the moon moved just a bit more so that it was nearly completely dark. When I got back out, I changed the battery and lifted it up for another shot. My spare battery was dead too. NO~~! So, I just sat there with a tripod and a camera with two dead batteries, staring at the moon. I know that many ancient civilizations have considered lunar eclipses bad omens, but I think that finding out my baby, who is going to be born in the year of the black dragon, is a son on the same day as a very rare total lunar eclipse is freaking awesome and worthy of remembering and re-telling when I'm old.
I've already written about waking up on Saturday morning, and even though that was the biggest event, there was so much more.
Saturday, after I found out that I was going to have a son, I walked out of the doctor's room and realized that I really had to go to the bathroom. Yoon mi had to do a blood test so I was alone. My mind was reeling. I was trying to process what I had just heard, trying to figure out the best way to tell my parents and sister, and trying to find the bathroom. Luckily, I knew it was down the only hallway in the office. So, I walked in, found the toilet and just as I started, I realized that there were no urinals in this bathroom. I was in the woman's bathroom. Well, I had already started and this is Korea where it is common to find a urinal right by the door to the woman's stall so instead of pinching it off, I decided the best course of action would be to finish what I came in to do and quietly, yet confidently leave the bathroom. Luckily, when I was done, there was no one in the bathroom and no one in the hall; phew, crisis averted.
I called my family, but I was still in the doctor's office so I had to speak quietly and I couldn't get as excited as I wanted to be. Having to use the elevator to get down to the basement car garage, I had to get off the phone early, too. After leaving the doctor, we went to the local chain mega-store, similar to America's Wal-shop, ours drops the Wal and replaces it with an E. Anyway, while we were there, Yoon mi was diligently finding all the sample places and "seeing if we wanted to buy it." We didn't. Yoon mi was famished having been super busy at work and not having time to eat lunch. There were several things we needed to buy while we were there, but with both of us thinking about other things, we forgot about 90% of what we were supposed to buy and ended up buying a bunch of stuff we didn't need.
We went to a coffee/tea shop where we diligently changed our facebook status' and sent out some text messages with our news. Later, Yoon mi was tired so she went home and I set out for another ex-pat's birthday dinner. Gary is turning 38 or 47 I can't tell. He sorta looks like Vezzini from The Princess Bride. Anyway, he had his birthday party at a Korean beef restaurant where we all had to sit on the floor and cook our own meat. Now, don't get me wrong, I love cooking my own tender, juicy bits of beautifully marbled steak, I just absolutely hate doing it while sitting on the floor. This was the first time I've had red meat in . . . a long time. So, it was fantastic! After dinner, we decided to hit up the only bar in town that has a decent beer on tap. Now, with me trying to lose weight, I know very well that steak and beer are 2 things I should definitely not be consuming, but it was his birthday, what could I do? I had a beer. While at the bar, I was reminded that two other ex-pats, married, just finished their first semester of Master's and Bachelor's studies. So, we had a celebration that night of Gary's birthday, Amanda kicking ass in her Master's studies, and Bob with his Bachelor's work. But at least for me, the biggest celebration for my son.
By the time I left the bar, the Earth had just begun to cross between the sun and the moon, like a hiker between the mother and cub. However, instead of getting mauled, the hiker cast it's shadow on the cub slowly turning it a dark, burnt orange color. Eventually, as the moon became fully eclipsed, it darkened; an orb of blood dried for a week, lying on a black velvet sheet. I drove home and ran inside to get Yoon mi to come out and look up with me. It was freezing cold with a slight wind kissing my right ear, but I couldn't go inside. I had to watch this amazing eclipse unfolding in front of me. I went back in and grabbed my camera, ran out to the car to grab my tripod (yeah, I don't know why I keep them in two different places either) and set it all up. Just as I snapped off a couple pics, the battery died. Running back into the house to get my spare battery, the moon moved just a bit more so that it was nearly completely dark. When I got back out, I changed the battery and lifted it up for another shot. My spare battery was dead too. NO~~! So, I just sat there with a tripod and a camera with two dead batteries, staring at the moon. I know that many ancient civilizations have considered lunar eclipses bad omens, but I think that finding out my baby, who is going to be born in the year of the black dragon, is a son on the same day as a very rare total lunar eclipse is freaking awesome and worthy of remembering and re-telling when I'm old.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Waking up
This morning, I woke up. I don't mean I ended my nightly sleep routine. I mean I woke up.
After my alarm went off, I hurried and got dressed so I could take Yoon Mi to work. She works on Saturdays from 9am to 2pm. After I took her, I went to the sauna for a good shower and soak. The roads are super icy from the snowmelt the day before freezing in the subzero temperature. So it was really slow going and dangerous. Normally, driving in Korea is hazardous to one's health but today was even worse and not just because of the ice. The entire time that I was conscious, the only thing I could think of today was that I would find out the gender of our baby. It was on my mind all morning. So, when I was driving through road construction on icy roads, uphill, I really shouldn't have been. Luckily, I've been driving here long enough that apparently even though my mind was not on the road, my eyes apparently were. Thank goodness for muscle memories, eh?
When I got home from the sauna, I still had to wait 2 and a half hours before Yoon mi got off work so I tried wasting time as only social network site games can do. Finally, 1:45 came around and I could leave to pick up my lovely wife from the pharmacy and head to the doctors office. When we walked in, the waiting room was full of women. FULL! well, luckily by the time Yoon mi finished with the blood pressure check and weight check and all the other little checks that the receptionist/nurses can do we only had to wait a few minutes. When we walked into the doctor's room, it seemed like 30 seconds before Yoon mi was on the ultrasound table with a sore head from knocking it on the monitor. I was seated above her head with a full view of the monitor.
My god, there is no way to express the jubilation, the rapid jump in my heart rate, the overflow of emotions when I saw my baby's face pop up on the screen. Then we could see the brain. It looked like two little kidneys. We counted all four lobes of the beating heart before we listened to it pump the life blood that my wife is allowing it to create. We could see the thigh bone as the baby was trying to conceal the entire groin region. I think our little Kong knew why we were invading the privacy of the womb. As I was staring, I remember saying, "I need to remember to blink." Right after my eyes were re-lubricated, I saw the beautiful ribcage and spine followed by the baby's bum. I don't know how long we watched the ultrasound magic, but it ended far too quickly. To my eyes there was no clear evidence if we would have a son or daughter. I thought that we missed the chance and would have to wait until who knows when to see for sure. However, as soon as the doctor stood up, he said something in Korean and I wasn't sure if I understood him correctly, but the look on Yoon mi's face told me that she understood perfectly so she looked at me and told me what he said. He told us what we can expect.
Let's just say that in about 5 years, I'm going to be going to Taekwondo practice and little league baseball games. I'll be out in the park, playing catch.
I'll be watching, cheering, supporting my son.
Today I woke up.
After my alarm went off, I hurried and got dressed so I could take Yoon Mi to work. She works on Saturdays from 9am to 2pm. After I took her, I went to the sauna for a good shower and soak. The roads are super icy from the snowmelt the day before freezing in the subzero temperature. So it was really slow going and dangerous. Normally, driving in Korea is hazardous to one's health but today was even worse and not just because of the ice. The entire time that I was conscious, the only thing I could think of today was that I would find out the gender of our baby. It was on my mind all morning. So, when I was driving through road construction on icy roads, uphill, I really shouldn't have been. Luckily, I've been driving here long enough that apparently even though my mind was not on the road, my eyes apparently were. Thank goodness for muscle memories, eh?
When I got home from the sauna, I still had to wait 2 and a half hours before Yoon mi got off work so I tried wasting time as only social network site games can do. Finally, 1:45 came around and I could leave to pick up my lovely wife from the pharmacy and head to the doctors office. When we walked in, the waiting room was full of women. FULL! well, luckily by the time Yoon mi finished with the blood pressure check and weight check and all the other little checks that the receptionist/nurses can do we only had to wait a few minutes. When we walked into the doctor's room, it seemed like 30 seconds before Yoon mi was on the ultrasound table with a sore head from knocking it on the monitor. I was seated above her head with a full view of the monitor.
My god, there is no way to express the jubilation, the rapid jump in my heart rate, the overflow of emotions when I saw my baby's face pop up on the screen. Then we could see the brain. It looked like two little kidneys. We counted all four lobes of the beating heart before we listened to it pump the life blood that my wife is allowing it to create. We could see the thigh bone as the baby was trying to conceal the entire groin region. I think our little Kong knew why we were invading the privacy of the womb. As I was staring, I remember saying, "I need to remember to blink." Right after my eyes were re-lubricated, I saw the beautiful ribcage and spine followed by the baby's bum. I don't know how long we watched the ultrasound magic, but it ended far too quickly. To my eyes there was no clear evidence if we would have a son or daughter. I thought that we missed the chance and would have to wait until who knows when to see for sure. However, as soon as the doctor stood up, he said something in Korean and I wasn't sure if I understood him correctly, but the look on Yoon mi's face told me that she understood perfectly so she looked at me and told me what he said. He told us what we can expect.
Let's just say that in about 5 years, I'm going to be going to Taekwondo practice and little league baseball games. I'll be out in the park, playing catch.
I'll be watching, cheering, supporting my son.
Today I woke up.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Update
Alright, so life has been going on and I've shied away from just the routine updates of whats going on in my life. So, I'll just kinda lump it all into one entry here.
Yoonmi is progressing beautifully in her pregnancy and her tummy is expanding. Tonight she told me she needs to buy some maternity underwear, ^^. That's awesome!
Also, I've stopped going to the chuna therapy. I went everyday for over 3 weeks and I just felt terrible. Everyday, I'd wake up feeling a little better, but by 9 or 10 I was hunched over like a 90 year old man again. I couldn't stand up straight and when I went into the doctor's clinic, he would have me lay flat on my back or stomach and the pain was so intense, I would start sweating from the effort of holding the pain in check. A couple times sweat mixed with some tears because it hurt so bad. On Tuesdays and Wednesdays I go to an elementary school and teach for 4 hours straight with no break. Even with painkillers it was hard, but with acupuncture, you aren't supposed to have painkillers. So, it was that after finishing my first full Tuesday back at the elementary school that I couldn't face the idea of going back there and putting myself through even more needles and pain. I didn't go and haven't gone since. About 24 hours after I stopped going, I realized that I was feeling better. 48 hours later I was standing straight up again. 1 week later, I could sleep in a bed again and actually walk upright, albeit more of a shuffle, for the full day. So, I've been going to the sauna, alternating in hot tubs and cold baths and hot rooms for about an hour and a half 3-5 times a week. Now, I can sit at my desk for more than 30 minutes and still be able to stand up straight the rest of the day. This may not seem like very much to you, but I'll tell you what, I can now wash the dishes and help take care of the rabbits and my wife knows how great it is. I'm still not back to healthy and I know my spine is still a little out of wack, but after losing 8 kg (17.6 lbs) Its getting better!
We've decorated our house for Christmas with the few decorations we have (more now this year since I brought some back from the States) and we are starting to feel a bit of the Christmas spirit. Today was the first day of snow for us. There has been snow in the mountains and a few of the cities around us, but today we were let out of work 30 minutes early because the snow was about to fall and we're supposed to get around 30cm (11.8 inches) so they wanted us to get home safely ^^ I walked home, all 200 meters.
I still can't wait for this weekend and Saturday just can't seem to get here fast enough, but at least tomorrow night, I have a distraction. A free opera is coming to town and I'm taking Yoon Mi to see Carmen at 7pm. Its a professional gig, but the city paid them well enough to open it up to the public for free. I've seen Carmen before, but it has been a long time. It'll be interesting to see how a Korean woman can play a well endowed, volumptuous harlet.
Yoonmi is progressing beautifully in her pregnancy and her tummy is expanding. Tonight she told me she needs to buy some maternity underwear, ^^. That's awesome!
Also, I've stopped going to the chuna therapy. I went everyday for over 3 weeks and I just felt terrible. Everyday, I'd wake up feeling a little better, but by 9 or 10 I was hunched over like a 90 year old man again. I couldn't stand up straight and when I went into the doctor's clinic, he would have me lay flat on my back or stomach and the pain was so intense, I would start sweating from the effort of holding the pain in check. A couple times sweat mixed with some tears because it hurt so bad. On Tuesdays and Wednesdays I go to an elementary school and teach for 4 hours straight with no break. Even with painkillers it was hard, but with acupuncture, you aren't supposed to have painkillers. So, it was that after finishing my first full Tuesday back at the elementary school that I couldn't face the idea of going back there and putting myself through even more needles and pain. I didn't go and haven't gone since. About 24 hours after I stopped going, I realized that I was feeling better. 48 hours later I was standing straight up again. 1 week later, I could sleep in a bed again and actually walk upright, albeit more of a shuffle, for the full day. So, I've been going to the sauna, alternating in hot tubs and cold baths and hot rooms for about an hour and a half 3-5 times a week. Now, I can sit at my desk for more than 30 minutes and still be able to stand up straight the rest of the day. This may not seem like very much to you, but I'll tell you what, I can now wash the dishes and help take care of the rabbits and my wife knows how great it is. I'm still not back to healthy and I know my spine is still a little out of wack, but after losing 8 kg (17.6 lbs) Its getting better!
We've decorated our house for Christmas with the few decorations we have (more now this year since I brought some back from the States) and we are starting to feel a bit of the Christmas spirit. Today was the first day of snow for us. There has been snow in the mountains and a few of the cities around us, but today we were let out of work 30 minutes early because the snow was about to fall and we're supposed to get around 30cm (11.8 inches) so they wanted us to get home safely ^^ I walked home, all 200 meters.
I still can't wait for this weekend and Saturday just can't seem to get here fast enough, but at least tomorrow night, I have a distraction. A free opera is coming to town and I'm taking Yoon Mi to see Carmen at 7pm. Its a professional gig, but the city paid them well enough to open it up to the public for free. I've seen Carmen before, but it has been a long time. It'll be interesting to see how a Korean woman can play a well endowed, volumptuous harlet.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
The baby's house
So often, when you read about women who are pregnant, you read about how big they are getting. You read their complaints and whines and their concerns that their partner isn't going to like it. I'm here to say that those women are crazy and I want nothing to do with them. Yoon mi is getting bigger. Of course, she's starting to show but if anyone can not absolutely love the belly that his wife is growing to make room for his baby, then he is no kind of man. My wife is excited about her tummy, she lets me hold it, put my head up against it and yes, even take pictures of it.
This is her at the end of November
She is sporting a baby bump at 14 weeks. Its a little hard to see because of the stripes, but its also not that big. In 2 weeks, her tummy grew to this!
hee hee, my baby is in there~!
This is her at the end of November
She is sporting a baby bump at 14 weeks. Its a little hard to see because of the stripes, but its also not that big. In 2 weeks, her tummy grew to this!
hee hee, my baby is in there~!
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Looking forward everyday
On Saturday, 3 more days, Yoon mi and I are going to learn the gender of our baby. I have been waiting for this moment for the past 3 weeks. I thought it was because we are going to find out the gender, but recently I've come to realize that it is not really the discovery that I'm looking forward to. Rather, it is more because I get to see my baby. I get to look into the ground and see the sprout that I planted growing and developing. Only six more months and my little bean is going to be out in this world and I'll be able to hold him/her. This is what I'm looking forward to. I don't care if it is a boy or girl, I just want to see our baby.
3 more days.
just 3
3 more days.
just 3
Political musings
I have really been trying to understand the conservative mindset. I want to understand the reason why conservative people feel the way they do. In this post, when I use the term conservative, I am refering to politically conservative people. Even though I have lived amongst people from many different countries, the main political arguments I hear/follow are from the US so I am really only talking about the American conservative.
I am a liberal thinker. Even though I am pretty far-left wing, I disagree with many things the liberal parties in America try to push through our government. However, I have not been able to understand the thinking behind nearly all the conservative talk. Many of you are liberals but more than a few of you are conservatives. The point of this entry is to A) get my thoughts down before they slide out of my head and get lost to the ether and B) generate feedback to help me understand why people make the decisions they make and get people understanding each other.
Generally, I find myself tired of politics, but it is like being tired of work. You have to keep following it and being involved with it because it has too much influence on your life. I have been involved in several discussions with both sides stating their opinions and many times they seem to be rather intellectual conversations, but too often they are just two sides stating their opinions and telling the other side why they are wrong. From these conversations, I have garnered a few reasons of why they believe what they believe. In no particular order this is what I've heard and why I don't understand it.
1) Religion - (ok, maybe there is some particular order, this being the most prevalent) Most of the time, Conservatives use their religion to defend their principals. But this is the most unfathomable reason for me. In America, most Conservatives are Christians. Christians are supposed to follow the teachings of Christ and live by the code of conduct that he laid down and defended with his life. However, the Christian conservatives that I have talked with today seem to have their bible and their actions twisted. Jesus Christ was a hippy. He was a jobless, homeless man who wandered around from city to city without a form of transportation and relied on the kindness of others to keep himself housed and fed. He taught everyone that he met to love everyone, to love people they disagreed with, to love people who believed things other than he did, to love all the criminals, poor, destitute, rich, everyone. Jesus not only took food and clothes from people, but also taught to give to people also. He was the one who commanded, not suggested, that if you have an extra jacket, to give it to someone who doesn't. In all sense, Jesus was the worst thing to happen to conservative thought. And he was killed for it.
Now, there is supposed to be a seperation of Church and State, and it is often very difficult to honor this. My mum once told me that even though there is a seperation, it is our religious views that lead our decisions. This is undeniable and understandable. However, if this is the case, why is it the conservative parties are so against using taxes to help feed and clothe and house the people who haven't been able to find work in this terrible economy? How is it that Christian conservatives can justify taking money from the poor and average and helping the super rich hold on to their fortunes? When did Jesus tell people to give unto Caesar that which is Caesar's and support him in taking more from you to give more to the tax collectors? When did Jesus say forgive everyone except for those who have really hurt you, those it's ok to kill? What kind of firearm, er spear, did Jesus own for his own protection, and did he spear them before or after he turned the other cheek?
So, those are a few of the points that have been rolling around in my noggin about religion and conservativism.
2) Government responsibility - It seems that a big difference between the Republican party and the Democratic party is that we disagree on the purpose of the government. I think they even disagree amongst themselves. Personally, I feel that the governments job is to take care of it's people. I was told that it is the government's job to protect the country. I agree, I feel that protecting it's citizens is part of taking care of it's people, but protection from foreign forces is only a small part of this job. Countries work best when their people have all their basic needs met. In education, we know that if a child does not feel safe, fed, and loved, they will not be productive in class. This is the same for all people throughout the world. To be a productive country, the US needs to have people who all have housing, food and security. It only makes sense to me that the government would benefit the most if they provided the means for all of its people to have apartments or houses, healthful food and safe borders and cities. Right now, the only thing that I have seen the conservative parties trying to achieve are the safe borders and cities, choosing to spend massive amounts of tax-payers money to build a giant fence instead of using tax-payer money to lure companies back into the country, which would then open more jobs, which would provide the income to house and clothe and feed the people who have had to turn to crime or government subsidies because they have no jobs. I will never argue against the military, I think our military personnel are amazing servants of the people and I respect them greatly. However, we would find a lot of our internal issues lessoned if we had gainful employment for the people.
Its getting really late and I've lost my train of thought, if I can think of other arguments, then I'll post another entry about it. So, what do you think?
I am a liberal thinker. Even though I am pretty far-left wing, I disagree with many things the liberal parties in America try to push through our government. However, I have not been able to understand the thinking behind nearly all the conservative talk. Many of you are liberals but more than a few of you are conservatives. The point of this entry is to A) get my thoughts down before they slide out of my head and get lost to the ether and B) generate feedback to help me understand why people make the decisions they make and get people understanding each other.
Generally, I find myself tired of politics, but it is like being tired of work. You have to keep following it and being involved with it because it has too much influence on your life. I have been involved in several discussions with both sides stating their opinions and many times they seem to be rather intellectual conversations, but too often they are just two sides stating their opinions and telling the other side why they are wrong. From these conversations, I have garnered a few reasons of why they believe what they believe. In no particular order this is what I've heard and why I don't understand it.
1) Religion - (ok, maybe there is some particular order, this being the most prevalent) Most of the time, Conservatives use their religion to defend their principals. But this is the most unfathomable reason for me. In America, most Conservatives are Christians. Christians are supposed to follow the teachings of Christ and live by the code of conduct that he laid down and defended with his life. However, the Christian conservatives that I have talked with today seem to have their bible and their actions twisted. Jesus Christ was a hippy. He was a jobless, homeless man who wandered around from city to city without a form of transportation and relied on the kindness of others to keep himself housed and fed. He taught everyone that he met to love everyone, to love people they disagreed with, to love people who believed things other than he did, to love all the criminals, poor, destitute, rich, everyone. Jesus not only took food and clothes from people, but also taught to give to people also. He was the one who commanded, not suggested, that if you have an extra jacket, to give it to someone who doesn't. In all sense, Jesus was the worst thing to happen to conservative thought. And he was killed for it.
Now, there is supposed to be a seperation of Church and State, and it is often very difficult to honor this. My mum once told me that even though there is a seperation, it is our religious views that lead our decisions. This is undeniable and understandable. However, if this is the case, why is it the conservative parties are so against using taxes to help feed and clothe and house the people who haven't been able to find work in this terrible economy? How is it that Christian conservatives can justify taking money from the poor and average and helping the super rich hold on to their fortunes? When did Jesus tell people to give unto Caesar that which is Caesar's and support him in taking more from you to give more to the tax collectors? When did Jesus say forgive everyone except for those who have really hurt you, those it's ok to kill? What kind of firearm, er spear, did Jesus own for his own protection, and did he spear them before or after he turned the other cheek?
So, those are a few of the points that have been rolling around in my noggin about religion and conservativism.
2) Government responsibility - It seems that a big difference between the Republican party and the Democratic party is that we disagree on the purpose of the government. I think they even disagree amongst themselves. Personally, I feel that the governments job is to take care of it's people. I was told that it is the government's job to protect the country. I agree, I feel that protecting it's citizens is part of taking care of it's people, but protection from foreign forces is only a small part of this job. Countries work best when their people have all their basic needs met. In education, we know that if a child does not feel safe, fed, and loved, they will not be productive in class. This is the same for all people throughout the world. To be a productive country, the US needs to have people who all have housing, food and security. It only makes sense to me that the government would benefit the most if they provided the means for all of its people to have apartments or houses, healthful food and safe borders and cities. Right now, the only thing that I have seen the conservative parties trying to achieve are the safe borders and cities, choosing to spend massive amounts of tax-payers money to build a giant fence instead of using tax-payer money to lure companies back into the country, which would then open more jobs, which would provide the income to house and clothe and feed the people who have had to turn to crime or government subsidies because they have no jobs. I will never argue against the military, I think our military personnel are amazing servants of the people and I respect them greatly. However, we would find a lot of our internal issues lessoned if we had gainful employment for the people.
Its getting really late and I've lost my train of thought, if I can think of other arguments, then I'll post another entry about it. So, what do you think?
Friday, December 2, 2011
The first feeling
Last Tuesday, Yoon Mi and I took a fellow EPIK teacher out for dinner and talked rabbits. As most of you know, we take care of 2 rabbits (ages nearly 3 and nearly 2) and our friend Haeinn has 2 at her place as well. She is a much newer rabbit-carer and so we imparted a bit of wisdom and some of the hay that our rabbits refuse to eat.
After dinner, we drove home and as soon as we got out of the car, Yoon Mi let out an audible, "oh~". Being naturally overcautious at this stage, I asked her if she was ok. I thought maybe she just stepped into a big puddle or got her jacket dirty or something. She didn't respond and she just stood there holding her baby bump, so then I actually started to get a bit concerned, but then I saw the giant smile when she asked, "it's too early to feel anything, right?"
My heart leaped!
My baby just felt my baby roll around inside her for the first time. Amazing
After dinner, we drove home and as soon as we got out of the car, Yoon Mi let out an audible, "oh~". Being naturally overcautious at this stage, I asked her if she was ok. I thought maybe she just stepped into a big puddle or got her jacket dirty or something. She didn't respond and she just stood there holding her baby bump, so then I actually started to get a bit concerned, but then I saw the giant smile when she asked, "it's too early to feel anything, right?"
My heart leaped!
My baby just felt my baby roll around inside her for the first time. Amazing
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