Today is April 17, 2012. 7 months ago our doctor told us that we were going to have a baby around May 17th. We were so excited. Elated. Ecstatic. We thought that we couldn't have any children and had begun preparing for a life with no children. May 17th seemed so far away and now it is only one month away. You have been an ideal baby. Your mother barely had any morning sickness and although she is tired, she has had very few problems.
Everyday she calls me over to her when you are active and I talk to you. Whenever you hear my voice you kick or punch right near my mouth and I can see her stomach moving and I feel you. It is such an awesome thing to know that you are in there making some room and responding to my voice. I can't wait to see you, to hold you, to listen to you coo and cry, to smell your skin and play with your little feet and hands.
I can't help but think about your future. What sports will you like? Will you be artistic? Scientific? Intelligent? Funny? Will you be a musician or will you be a good football player? I wonder how tall you're going to be, what your sense of humor will be like, and what kind of music you'll be into.
I worry about my own ability to raise you. Then, I just think, when you already love something that you've never met, how can you be a bad parent. I know that I'm always going to be interested in everything that you do and tell me. When you are 4 years old and are repeating the same joke for the 50th time, I'll still laugh. I will always love you. I know that you will do things that you think will make me angry or disappointed. But I will always love you and will always be there for you.
When you are 16 and you steal our car to go hang out with your friends, I will still love you. Sure, I'll be angry, furious maybe, but I will never hurt you and I will always love you. When you go off to university and you do poorly in class because you were sidetracked by life, I'll be there to help you get back on the right path.
You still have a month of growing before you come into the light, but I am finding it harder and harder to wait for you. Every year at Christmas, I would look longingly at the presents beneath the tree, find those that were mine and wonder what each little package contained. I would fantasize that maybe this one held that toy truck I wanted or the books that were really popular. I never opened the packages early because the waiting made the opening that much better. When Christmas morning came around, I was a giddy little boy. I still am. I am looking at the greatest present I have ever received and I am a giddy little boy. I'm waiting Cameron, I'm waiting for my own personal Christmas, your birthday.
Come when you're ready, but don't take too long!
Love,
Your Dad
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